Balance

Happy Saturday morning!

We made it through another week, albeit the weather was a rollercoaster. We had icy weather Monday, the threat of which made me stay home from the gym for the first weekday this year. That was a hard debate. I hated losing that streak, but it was the sensible thing to do. I am very happy that I made it there faithfully the rest of the week and got my daily routines in, even though the crazy fog, so I trek on. 

I talked a little about my visions and goals for 2024 but thought I would share a bit more today. A few years ago, I spent time with a life coach, Teresa McCloy. I was in the height of taking the verse, "I can do all things...." literally. Somehow, I was in that, "She who does the most is happiest" stage and I was in such a people pleasing mode that I was not saying no to anything. I was working 3 jobs and on a dead run between all of them. Teresa introduced me to the fact that my life was lacking one huge thing- Balance. 

I was getting lots of things done for lots of people but there were things I wanted to do and I had it in my head that serving others was how I was most productive for God. At least one of the jobs I was doing was directly because I knew the person needed help and so I threw myself all in to helping them and ended up with a full-time job out of it, thing is, my career, that I honestly love, really is way more than a full-time job already, and I wasn't really getting to grow in it like I really wanted to.  

I was spending so much time doing those things that I was ignoring so many other aspects of my life. I had someone cleaning my house once a week at the time, but I had totally forgotten how much joy I have in doing this myself.  I love to sew, and hadn't done it in years, I have a new Cricut that hasn't been out of the box more than 3 times. (but in the last month, I have turned Robert's old room into a craft room, so that's gonna change!)

I was making sure to fit all the mandatory things in to tell myself life was balanced, I would schedule time with friends, schedule date night, but I also would go for weeks on end and never just get to be at home for 24 hours. And the bottom line was, when I admitted it to myself, I was tired. All the time. 

Ironically, my thoughts of serving God because of all the other people I was serving was actually getting in the way of my service to God. Things like this blog went on the back burner. Things like trying to find little ways to really show God's love to others was out the window. I really wasn't serving him that well at all and I wasn't doing myself any good either. Honestly, there were a lot of my life that was suffering because I was trying to do too much.

So, I started setting boundaries and found a good planner to help me see what I am really doing. I am not getting paid for this by Cleaver Fox, but I have had 4 Cleaver Fox planners now. I just gifted Robert with his first one this week. 

Yes, it is a daily planner, but it also helps you make sure you are balancing everything, my new one asks me weekly what I am doing for my spiritual growth, my relationships with friends and family, my love life, my personal development, and so on. Then at the end of the week, you get to write down lessons learned, how you can do better next week and your biggest wins. It makes you realize every day is a treasure. And it makes you evaluate each month and write down your biggest wins and lessons learned and do a balance wheel to see where you are at.

My point this week is there is a quote out there, actually I found out this morning it is from Dolly Pardon, "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life". I don't feel I was in everything for the money, but I was truly putting off really living. 

So, this week, I want to tell you if you are caught in this trap, reevaluate. Are you really working for God when you are doing this, or are you working for the world? Romans 12:2 comes to mind, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

So, I took the day off yesterday, went to the doc with my mom but also did all my running so hopefully to get a day at home today, straightening up my house, getting some music ready for church tomorrow, cleaning my stove, reorganizing my freezer and probably gonna plop myself on the couch this afternoon and find a good movie or book. I feel I am becoming a better me because I am taking better care of me. I have stopped believing that just because I am to put Jesus and Others first and myself last doesn't translate to just taking care of me when there is time. It is still a priority.

I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs, it is called Anymore by Cain.

In my very type A personality and I still struggle with everything I just said above. I think I should be able to do everything everyone wants me to do all the time. Thing is, I was letting all the busyness stand in the way of my relationship with God BUT the devil tries to tell me that I am slacking. This song reminds me that when you keep your eyes on Jesus, you are not slacking, you are doing His will, not yours. And He loves you for it.