Waiting on God

I have one thing that I have prayed for fervently since the beginning of the year. God hasn't exactly said no, and sometimes I feel he has partially answered my prayer, in fact, as I look back, there has been a lot of ways I thought he said, "I'm working on it", but I am about to decide maybe he was really saying, "I'm working on YOU".

I am in the pit band for Lincoln Trail's Musical, Into The Woods. I had never seen the musical before I started working with the band, but as I watch rehearsals, there are some themes that are very clear. The main one being, "Be careful what you wish for". Sometimes, I think we need to be careful what we pray for too. I am not going to divulge what my prayer is for. It is personal, and it isn't for me, but it would (or so I think) have to go through me, for it to be answered. I think if I face facts, it would make ME feel better if it went through me, that is probably the truth of the matter.  I have posted earlier that I thought I had seen the only way for God to do something and He showed me that He was in control and He would do things His way.

 When I start dwelling on the fact that I don't think God has answered my prayer, I take myself back to Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." I have a habit of getting the "Trust in the Lord" part without remembering the "lean not unto thine own understanding" part. I have a tendency to trust in Him AND think I know what He is thinking. It is hard to put that down. So, I have found a couple more verses that I keep in my sight.

Psalms 31:1 says, "In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness."

Psalms 34:22 says, " The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate."

and

Psalms 37:3 says, " Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed."
 
So I need to remember that when I trust in God, he will take care of me, maybe not the way I think He should, but the way that is best for me.

 I noticed this week that a friend of mine was praying for healing for another friend. That healing came in the form of the friend going home to be with her Lord. This is hard for us, because we see so many things that we felt like she had left to do here on earth. God is the one who is perfect though, and his ways are always right, so even though we suffer disappointments in His answer, we can't look at it as He let us down. Especially in this case, we have to glorify Him in what He actually did for that friend, she is in glory this morning, sitting at the feet of Jesus.

So, I keep trusting that His ways are perfect, and that He will answer my prayer in the way that is best for all involved. And yes, I will keep working on not asking Him to hurry up already, but I have to admit, I have begged that as well. I am thankful that He doesn't get upset with my tiny mind, when I get that way.

The takeaway this week is to remember He is in control, and if you are asking Him something that you truly think is something that could be his will, then keep asking. I believe He will eventually answer, OR show you it is time to quit asking. Don't decide on your own that He isn't listening, because deep down, you know He is.

The song I am leaving you with this morning is Lauren Daigle's I Will Trust In You. There is a funny story that goes right along with the devotional above. This song was released last year, but started getting more airplay the beginning of this year, honestly about the same time I started making this particular request. One Sunday morning, not too long ago, I had spent some extra time, asking God if I should quit asking. That particular Sunday morning, one of the girls at church sang this song as a special. I took it as a sign that my answer was no, I shouldn't quit asking. Then later that week, something happened out of the blue, that confirmed, I was getting answers.

I love when that happens. And though now that I am putting this out there, the girl singing the song, might find out that she sang that song for me that day. Until now, she has no idea but I know, knowing her, she knew she was being lead to sing it. God uses us, and is using us even when we don't know it. I am also going to let her in on a secret. At the beginning of the year, our pastor's wife gave us the opportunity to pick names out of a hat and pray for that person every day. I took three names. And I have prayed for those three people every day. She is one of my three people. I get to take a little bit of personal responsibility when things in her life fall into place. So I thought it only right that God would use her to speak to me.

So, here is Lauren Daigle's song: Trust in You.

As a bonus-- here is a link to an interview with her about this song. This made me love this song even more.

Dear Younger Me

I think I have lamented in the past few posts that life is crazy right now. I steal little chances at peace and refreshment anytime I can. Yesterday, it came in a trip to Paris.


Thanks to the wonders of modern technology and a little SiriusXM subscription, I can listen to my Sirius XM in the work car. So, I tuned in my FM modulator on my hands free and viola! Now, to sit back and see what God was going to bless me with.


And the song, Dear Younger Me came on. I had to laugh.


Let me share the lyrics with you.

Dear younger me
Where do I start
If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far
Then you could be
One step ahead
Of all the painful memories still running thru my head
I wonder how much different things would be
Dear younger me,

Dear younger me
I cannot decide
Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life
Or do I go deep
And try to change
The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me
Even though I love this crazy life
Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride
Dear younger me, dear younger me

If I knew then what I know now
Condemnation would’ve had no power
My joy my pain would’ve never been my worth
If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross
Dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be
Dear younger me, dear younger me

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

I was reminded through this song that I may not have always lived exactly as He wanted me to, but that everything I went though and everything I have done, have shaped me into who He wants me to be today.


I am reminded of a couple different verses, Isaiah 64:8 says, "Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand". and then Romans 9:21 says. "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use."


I was saved when I was 13, there were times, as I have mentioned in past posts, that living for the Lord just wasn't at the top of my list. I can seriously see me being formed into this beautiful vase and then it just all folding in, and instead of throwing that lump of clay in the corner, Jesus says, "nope, we'll do it again, I will never give up on you!". I can think back to a lot of times that happened, and yet, God gave me one more chance, and He will always be giving me one more chance, He'll never give up on me.


And today, I can truly say, I love my life here on earth, but I know it pales in comparison to what our Heavenly Father has laid up for us in Heaven.


And this is not something that is in my past just because I am trying harder to live for Him. I still mess up and we still have to get me back on that potter's wheel and start over, but the thing is, He will never give up on me, even when I am ready to give up on myself


So, I am passing this on to anyone who needs this today, because you know as well as I do, He extends this grace to every one who calls on His name. There is no such thing as, "I've been too bad" or "He has already given me more chances than I deserve". None of us deserve a good life, but God's Grace covers all our sins and gives us an opportunity to have that good life. The older I get, the more I realize that a good life has so much more to do with WHO you have in your life, and how  you are spending your time here than WHAT you have in your life.


At the same time, I do have to remember that my past has helped shaped me to what I am today, just like today is helping to shape me into who I will be tomorrow. And by the grace of God, hopefully, I will be better tomorrow than I was yesterday.


So, I leave you with Dear Younger Me, by Mercy Me.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are too far gone for God to lift up. Just take what you have learned and start using that very thing to the Glory of God.


Happy Saturday!

Ahhh....

What a week! I feel like I am in a giant hamster wheel trying to get from point A to point B and point B is nowhere to be found. Do you ever have those weeks? And the craziest thing is I am doing EXACTLY what I WANT to be doing, and I am loving every minute of it, but I am still on the verge of being overwhelmed.

And my Savior knows I am feeling this way, this week during my quiet time, before all the craziness hits, He has sent me some remarkable words of comfort.

The one that stuck out the most though:

Matthew 11:28  

 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

And He has shown that to me this week. Last night, I stayed at work until after dark, but driving home was a gift in itself. I was listening to the radio (Casting Crowns, Jamie Grace, Matthew West....good stuff!)  and was basically the only one on the road. I was trying to take in every little thing that God made that I could see. The stars, that beautiful moon, the clouds, the trees, the grass along the side of the road. One of my AWANA kids told me one time that it was looking at the vastness of the stars that made him realize just how big our God is.

The moon was just bright enough to see the many fields of crops that have been harvested. It was relaxing to me. I knew I was home, where I belong.  I have always found it funny that this girl that wanted so badly to get away from here, lives and works in the very area she grew up in and knows she is just where she is supposed to be.

I have a 20 mile drive from work to home, and I know who lives in about every house along the way. And I think God knew I would treasure this much more than I ever imagined. 
  
 This may be disappointing to a few of you but this is going to be short, I am leaving in a bit with the hubs to head to Champaign to watch our high school band in their biggest competition of the year. 

But I want you to take a couple things with you today.

First, find that rest, I am planning on "getting away" today, and I am thanking God for giving me the time to rest.

Then, take a look around, and look at all of this magnificent planet He has given us to enjoy.

I am leaving you with Jamie Grace's Beautiful Day, just because it is the way I am feeling.

Hope you all have a BEA-U-TIFUL Day!

Chinks in the Armor

In last Saturday's post I mentioned seeing a family friend who was in the final days of his life. The call came early Saturday evening, that Mel Blade had went home to be with the Lord.

Mel grew up with my mom, and I grew up with his kids, we may not have the same blood running through our veins but to me, we are family. They have been there for me more times than I can count and every one of them are on my short list of people I know I can count on, and I truly hope they know they can count on me.

It seems over the last few years, we have lost several of the people I looked up to and learned from. And it is dawning on me, kind of reluctantly, that I am becoming that generation for the ones younger than me. I read my Bible every morning, and would love to have Ruth Marrs' knowledge of the Bible, or Vaneta Carr's. You could be talking to them about anything in the world, and I swear, they could quote you a Bible verse (and reference) that goes with that situation. I try and try, but I don't believe I will ever be there, but I will try. It was mentioned at the funeral that someone wanted to know if it is okay to talk to your loved one after they passed on. I know two people that I would downright consider experts on the Bible, two local people that I have heard speak tons of times and they have opposing views, I align myself with one of them.

So, here is my very own probably highly controversial opinion.

When my dad died, I was 13. I was 6 months from graduating from the 8th grade, 9 months from starting high school, less than 3 years from getting my drivers license, less than 5 years from graduating high school, and you get the picture. There were things I wanted my dad to see, I wanted him to be a part of, and I personally believe he did. People who say he can't are limiting God. Some people say, "your loved one is not going to care less about what is going on here on earth", but I think about the rich man and Lazarus. Some people believe this is a parable, but it was never addressed as a parable, nor does it really fit the definition of "an earthly story with a Heavenly meaning", and he calls Lazarus by name, none of the people in parables had names. Anyway, the rich man was able to see Lazarus in Abraham's bosom. And Abraham talked to the rich man, who was in Hell. And then there is Hebrews 12:1. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us," I believe that "cloud" of witnesses are those ones who have went before us, and now, they are our cheering section for the rest of our lives. And yes, I have talked to my dad. The preacher who preached the funeral, seemed to have similar thoughts but he laughed and said, and if your dad can't hear you, Jesus can tell him, you know He is right there. Point.

All of this being said, I am sure that when a fellow believer gets to Heaven, the Bible definitely supports the fact that we will know each other when we get to Heaven. I am using an excerpt from Dr. Billy Graham:


DEAR DR. GRAHAM: Do you think we will recognize each other in Heaven? My husband died last year, and it would horrify me to think that we might not know each other because God had given us different appearances or something. -- Mrs. M.L.
DEAR MRS. M.L.: While the Bible doesn't answer all our questions about Heaven, I have no doubt we will recognize each other there. In fact, the Bible indicates we will know each other more fully than we do now. The Apostle Paul declared, "Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known" (1 Corinthians 13:12).
It's true that our appearance will change, because God will give us new bodies, similar to Jesus' resurrection body. Those bodies will never grow old or tired, nor will they ever experience pain or suffering or death. As the Bible says, "For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed" (1 Corinthians 15:52). What a glorious promise!
But we will still know each other. When Jesus was transformed into His heavenly glory before the eyes of some of His disciples, "His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light" (Matthew 17:2). And yet His disciples still recognized Him, and so did Moses and Elijah who came from Heaven to speak with Him.
Thank God for our hope of eternal life -- a hope we have only because Jesus Christ died and rose again to take away our sins. This is your hope -- and it can be the hope of every person reading this column, as they turn to Christ and trust Him alone for their salvation.

So, I have had this thought about Mel seeing my dad this week. Last week, when I saw Mel, his daughter Jan, who lives in Delaware was there. Mel was very weak, but we were talking about Robert, whom Mel loved, and Robert loved him as well. He said, "when I get to feeling a little better, I'm going to tell Jan all about Robert". I have heard it though my head this week of Mel getting to my dad, and saying, "I'm going to tell you all about Robert," and that makes my heart smile. 

My final thought on all of this though is that God promised us comfort, and if our comfort is in knowing we aren't ever really that far from our loved ones, then that is what He has left us with. 

Rick, who preached Mel's funeral, read a poem and I thought it was very relevant,  


Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Khalil Gibran

I am leaving you with Andrea Crouch's Through It All, it was one of Mel's favorite songs and we sang it at his funeral.

I hope whatever you are going through this week, you can find strength from the Lord and those little chinks in our armor from those loved ones who have "been there, done that" and are now cheering us on from the sidelines. Have a good week!

Emails from Angels

There are days you wake up and think, "This is going to be a good day!" and then there are the days you wake up and your thinking, "Well, not so much". This past Thursday morning, I really thought it was starting out pretty okay. I needed to leave the house a little early to drop by the church and so I actually ended up at work 10 minutes early. 10 minutes to get started without the phone ringing and the normal ins and outs of my day, I would really like to get in the habit of going in an hour early everyday, or at least a half hour, that normally makes the day go smoother. Thursday, it didn't matter at all that I was there early.

We have days when stupid things just happen. When several stupid things happen at once, it isn't good, and to me, it is frustrating. This day, we were already having some issues with some of the applications that had been brought to our office, I had just been informed that I had totally dropped the ball on getting a new computer set up for one of the other ladies in the office, and then, our new payroll clerk's accounting software wasn't working correctly. It is Thursday and payday is Friday......Not many people know this, anyway they didn't until now. Because of a mistake I made on the payroll clerk's computer, one time everyone in the agency's paychecks were wrong, and it wasn't in favor of the employee. Needless to say, working on that particular computer automatically sends the anxiety up a notch. All of that being said, this one was nothing major, but in my mind, it was.

I also had it in my head that I was going to the nursing home during my lunch hour and visit a dear family friend. This friend is not doing well at all and I had that awful pull between, "I want him to know I care" and "I don't want to see him like this". That didn't get better even after I was there. It was as bad as I expected, I had been out several other times since he had been in there and he was weak, but still himself. Anyway, back to Thursday morning.

I always, always, try to be the nice person, the one that just because I am having a bad day, doesn't mean my testimony for Jesus should be having a bad day. Thursday morning, I let that slip. I received a phone call, while sitting in the payroll clerk's office and I was short with the coworker on the other end. I knew it and felt bad about it the minute I hung up. So, I sent an email a few minutes later apologizing for my actions.

Then I get this in an email in return......

I’m in one of my spiritual moods today.  So here goes….  You said I’m being pulled in many directions today and it’s gonna be a “Bad day”..

For some reason that bothered me that YOU would say that.  What if God said to his angels I have someone I want to show to you.  I have put many things on her plate but I know she can handle it.  Let’s see how it’s going…and you said, It’s gonna be a bad day.  Mindy you have always managed to get done the things that need done.  No you are not without fault or feelings but you were chosen to do what you do.  HIS hand is on your shoulder and he walks beside you. 

It’s not a bad day it’s a …..hurdle jumping day. 

Okay…I’m done.  I think he wanted me to tell you that.  Have a great day.

This is the point where it is a great thing I am having eye problems and have to put tear drops in my eyes, when they are running down my face, everyone can just assume I have just doused my eyes with drops.

When I got this email I thought immediately of a sermon Ted Rhodes preached at a revival years ago. He was telling us that if we keep dealing with the same problems, the same tribulations, that God is giving you a chance for a do-over. He equated this to going around a mountain, it seems like you are traveling a long way, until you realize you are right back where you started. This is something that stuck with me and Andrew both so over the years, we have discussed "going around the mountain" many times. I realized this morning God was sending me around the mountain and giving me a very big lesson on not taking my tribulations out on others, or Him. 

So, now I am anxiously (okay not really anxiously, but it might as well be) awaiting the next "hurdle jumping day", to see if I can handle it differently. 

I had several verses come to mind, such as "count it all joy....." but I think I used that one just a few weeks ago.

Proverbs 3:5-6 also popped in my head, "

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
⁶ In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

And when it all comes down to it, that was what I was missing, Trusting in God with all my heart. I have to tell you, more computers have been prayed over in our agency than probably anyplace else, and a lot of those times, I fix them without even knowing how, EXCEPT for the fact, that I am truly trusting God to lead me in the right direction.

So, the next time you are having a bad day, I challenge you too, to proclaim it a hurdle jumping day, tie on those running shoes and just get at it, and give God the glory.

So, I leave you with an oldie but a goody,  Amy Grant's In a Little While.

Have a great week!