Love, redeux

NOTE: This is actually a post I wrote in February of 2014. After events that has happened in the last few weeks, I have had it on my mind a lot. I think it bears  repeating.

 

 

Love

What a week!!! Talk about a series of ups and downs! I feel like I have been on a roller coaster of gigantic proportions. Of course, I have talked a lot lately about the propane shortage and how it is effecting our clients. Monday morning I got to start pledging the extra $1,000 payments. Though it has been hectic, it has been so great to be such a blessing to people. Lots of "God Bless You"s, lots of not believing it was real, lots of gratitude. It has been humbling. There is some saying about doing things for others that can't do anything for you in return. I received a lot of return this week, believe me. Thursday was the day of tears. I had several older ladies who called and seriously cried. It was a long day for me because when someone else cries, I cry too. My UC is getting better, and I still don't want to face that it has a lot to do with stress, this weeks dose of work stress was so much better than the last couple.

Meanwhile, in my little facebook world, I was being faced with some things that really had me questioning a lot of things. I was seeing a lot of meanness, if that's a word, if it's not, I'm sure you can figure it out. I am a Christian, I am hoping and praying that I don't have to TELL you that for you to KNOW it, but I am a Christian. I have seen a lot of other friends of mine, who I consider Christians bashing not only other people but other Christians this week. I find it very sad and it has caused "but the greatest of these is love" to swirl in my mind over and over and over and over. I have been reading through Be Amazed, a study of the Minor Prophets and point was made that I also can't get out of my head. If you are driving down the highway, let's say, to paint the picture, you are in St. Louis, driving down the one of the highways that have 4 or 5 lanes, you are getting ready to get off at an exit and this car swoops in from the left and cuts you off, causing you to miss your exit. Was it wrong? Yes, Did it hurt you that someone was mean to you? Yes. Now, let's say you are a parent, you just found out your 9-year-old has lied to you. Was it wrong? Yes, Did it hurt you that he lied to you? Yes. Did it mean more to you than the driver who cut you off? Yes. So....we all know sin is sin but if a Christian sins, do you think it hurts God more? Did you ever see Jesus be mean to unsaved people? No, lots of time he dined with them, creating all kinds of havoc from people who were trying to look good, but Jesus knew their hearts.

  But the greatest of these is love.

I do not openly tell my stance on fb of where I stand on a lot of big issues. I am a Christian so I am sure most assume they know where I stand and there is a good possibility they are correct. However, I would rather talk about things like this on a one-on-one basis. I have tried hard over the years to judge less and love more. If I don't just put a blanket statement over something, it gives me a chance for one-on-one dialog, if I make a statement to someone who truly doesn't understand where I am coming from, all I have done is shut the door on me ever being able to effectively help someone through something, should they ask. Let's face it, I am a sinner. I have one of those sins I carry around with me. Some people don't like that I think being fat is a sin. For me, being fat is a sin. FOR ME. When God says he has made my body a temple and that is where he lives, I should be taking better care of it and it is very clear to see that at least several times a week, I place my love of food over my love of God....once again, that's me. I truly do not believe that of you, I believe it of me. This is something I will keep working out with God because truly, there are times in the week that I am crazy stressed and head for the kitchen to find comfort, when I should head to God. Anyway....that's getting repetitive.

I also don't drink. I don't judge people who drink, I don't get in on the bandwagon of whether or not wine in the Bible is wine of nowadays or grape juice. I know for me, when I was younger I did drink. I know it didn't magically make me drunk after the 5th sip, I know it started with the first one for me. I know I'm supposed to be sober minded and I know alcohol and I can't do that. My friends, especially my friends at work, who are the ones who have occasion to be around me where there are events that involve drinking can attest to the fact that it is about me, not them. They always know they have a driver and that I can sweet talk a waiter into a glass of tea, and that they have two extra free drinks because I give away my tickets. I know there are probably some Christians out there that think I am wrong in not taking a stand in this, but it simply isn't my place.

But the greatest of these is love.

So, I just decided to try an experiment this morning.....I am one of those people who knows the Bible says this or that and can only remember the reference about half the time. I trust this website called Biblegateway.com. I went there this morning and typed in Love One Another, I used NIV just because it is in an easier to read format. Here is what I came up with...



So then, just for fun, I erased the word love and typed in judge, so it read judge one another:

Kinda made it wide open that the judgment thing is God's job. I think our job is to love one another....

but the greatest of these is love.

I have watched my friends bash each other over things for quite a while now. The first time it started bothering me was a few weeks ago. I was watching the latest episode of NCIS and the ending song just really struck me. I looked up the words, and the song and it is now on my playlist. Ironically, I have been thinking about this post all week and last night, at the very close of the Olympics, there was that song again. 

So, I will share.





So that's it, I'm off my soapbox, as Robert asked me last night, as we were discussing this on our way to dinner. Am I a little nervous posting this? Yes, Do I mean it to be judging anyone, nope. I mean it as how I feel right now. Is you telling me I'm wrong going to change my mind? Probably not.  I just hope that it will wake some people up that maybe by being so outspoken, they are shutting doors, where our jobs are really to be to help open doors. Think Twice, Speak Once.

 We are love....

but the greatest of these is love.

Father's Day

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God [is] one LORD:
⁵ And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
⁶ And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
⁷ And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
⁸ And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
⁹ And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Father's Day is upon us again, I have some pretty good sized emotions when it comes to Father's Day, and I saw one of my friends who had lost their dad in recent years even state they wish there wasn't a special day set aside because it hurts too much. I have always kind of had a love/ hate relationship with Mother's Day and Father's Day too but part of it is because we are to honor our parents EVERY day, this makes it easy to have an excuse not to do that. I also hear so many people say they will let their dad be King for a day. Well.....Dad should be king of his castle every day.

I got particularly slammed one day on facebook because I made the statement that my husband was the ruler of our house, and he is. He has the final say. I have never felt like he is my drill sergeant or I am his slave though, he was who God created as the perfect person for me and I feel it is why our family works.

Our pastor made the statement last week that he didn't blame women for stepping up and doing what the men were supposed to be doing when the men weren't doing them. When we were a young married couple, I truly didn't pay that much attention to the order of things. And Andrew, being a bit more type B and me being a lot of type A, let me. I know we were in Pontiac when it hit me that I wasn't doing either one of us justice. He needed to be the one to step up and lead our house and I needed to be the one to step back and let him do it.

One reason in particular in our household is I am passionate, and especially when I was younger, would act first and then think about what those actions would do, number 1 problem with me always has been spending money. I would see some overpriced thingamajig and not think twice about buying it, only to not be able to even get 50 cents out of my $40 or $50 not-thinking splurge, when I decided I didn't really like the thing either. Andrew could look at the same thing and say, you really don't want that. (or my favorite in our house, "I can make that, better, and half the price). (and can we say, I LOVE that cell phones have cameras on them! lol)

I didn't exactly ask permission for stuff, but I did start asking his opinion, and I would not let, "I don't care" be the answer. Then came PromiseKeepers, and the men were told to step back into their rolls as leaders of their households, this was a big step for our family too. Before too long, I think he realized his position was that of "final say". I also remember one particular Women of Faith where Anita Renfro spoke, please remember she is a Christian comedian. She said, let him make the decisions, that way you aren't to blame when things go wrong! I loved it and I tell it to him anytime we have decisions to make that has taken a lot of prayer and thought, he knows I'm kidding though and though he does have the final say, it is neat to me that we make decisions like that together.

Of course, since it is Father's Day, we must talk about the fact that that trickles down to the kids too. Robert always knew if he asked something of me and I wasn't 100% sure I knew what Andrew would say, that I would tell him he would have to talk to him. I'm thinking there were just a few times in his life that I did that, but it worked for us.

All of this is great, and I feel like we do have a very close-knit, loving, family unit but there is one thing that is key to this. God. We have to know we have a Father in heaven in order to make this family structure work correctly here on earth. See, if you aren't following what God wants, then you are following what the Devil wants, even if you don't know you are. The Devil wants nothing more than for everyone to care more about themselves than anyone else. You put someone in the leadership position that only wants to worry about themselves and you have just made everyone under them slaves. That's not the way it works, that's not how any of this works!

I know when Andrew is put in a position to have to give me an answer, he prays about it, he wants to make sure he is giving the answer God would want him to give, and sometimes, I know it is hard to tell me he doesn't think we should do something. I used to pout, but I have learned that is me not being a Godly wife, so I accept it and pray that I will get over it or God will show Andrew something different. Normally, I get over it AND then see what a disaster we would have been in if we would have done what I thought. The time that stands out the very most to me was a house we were looking at in Olney. It had so many things wrong with it but I was so set on buying a house, I didn't care. Andrew said no, and a year later, we were living in Newton, in the house I had loved since I was a kid.

I really don't know why people have a problem with this structure. I have the same thing at work. I have a boss who I am not a slave to but who actually wants to make sure I'm doing my best and she keeps me and my mouth out of trouble. That's pretty well Andrew's job and duty to our family.

AND God gives us the same structure, he, of course, is the ultimate father, but he gives us the free will to either let him be or let the devil be. When we ask God to give us the final answer, and then truly listen, we know we are doing what is best for us in the long run.

So, if you still have your Dad, make sure you tell him how much he means to you, but don't just do it today: we are to honor our parents, everyday. I woke up one morning almost 36 years ago to my dad getting me up. My dad was my hero from the time I can remember, we had a really close relationship. My mom used to say she never really had me until my dad died because I was with him constantly. He got me up that morning, and we were joking around, I stood up in my bed, looked him in the eye and said, "I'm up already!" and gave him a big hug. Little did I know that was the last time I would ever hug my dad. The house I grew up in had the same relationship that I explained above. I watched that work there, and should have remembered from the beginning of our marriage, that this is how it needed to be.

Happy Father's Day!

I will leave you with Sanctus Real's Lead Me. There are a lot of good songs out there about men following the Lord, but I think this on is just perfect for today.

Leadership and Followership

Good Saturday morning! This is one of those weeks where I am up and at the computer, later than I wanted to be but I am finally here.

A big part of my week was spent at a leadership training. I always have such high hopes and aspirations when we head to these things. I usually learn a few things but I usually come away thinking, "huh, nobody really told me any big secrets that makes leading others just a piece of cake".  This was a very, very, good training though and I have probably brought back more personal growth than I have from anything in a long time.

One of the things that we did was write down our own leadership philosophy. This was a homework assignment, and as I sat in my hotel room that night and thought about it. I was able to come up with 8 things right now. We had studied Colin Powell's philosophy earlier that day, it had taken him 30 years to come up with this, I didn't think my 8 was bad for one night.

One of my 8 points stuck out to me, and has weighed on my mind the rest of the week. I wrote down that to be a good leader, you have to set a good example of being a good follower to those who are your leaders. We talked a lot about the teams that we actually lead and how to deal with different personalities, and agendas. To me, it was very encouraging that we had one very notable team and leader mentioned, Jesus and the apostles.  I have thought a lot about this as I was preparing for this weeks devotional.  So......

Our scripture this week is from Luke 6:13-16


¹³ And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles;
¹⁴ Simon, (whom he also named Peter,) and Andrew his brother, James and John, Philip and Bartholomew,
¹⁵ Matthew and Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called Zelotes,
¹⁶ And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor.

We actually got to talking about when you have someone on your team who isn't going the right direction, and is causing problems. That brought us to Judas. Yes, Jesus knew all along that Judas was going to betray him but I think a lot of people believe Judas was never a believer because he betrayed Jesus. I would love to say I am perfect and never betrayed a friend's trust, but at times in my life, especially when I was worrying more about myself, it has happened. So, to think that Judas was this all over bad person, I don't think that is the case. I think he is a classic case of putting ourselves ahead of Christ, and let's face it, we do it.  We went on to talk about how long you try to correct someone's actions and when it is time to let them go.
I can go on and on about the deep thoughts I have about Christ and Judas, but I will let you ponder those on your own today.

We got tons of resources from Jesus on how to live, but we also got many lessons on how to follow from the apostles. We watched a video about a guy at a music festival. He stood up and started dancing, all by himself. Then along came a second guy and started dancing, hereby referred to as the first follower. The first follower made the guy dancing a leader. Before too long, there were lots of people dancing and they now had a movement. 

I spend a lot of time focusing on trying to be a good leader, this week, I was reminded in a big way that I need to be a good follower and that the most important one to be following is Jesus. I was also reminded how easy it is to get off track, even though I am supposed to be following Jesus, sometimes I see myself veer off and get distracted, we know from Judas, that can get us in lots of trouble.

So, this week, the challenge is, ask yourself as you make decisions, am I following Jesus or am I following me?

I leave you with Jamie Grace's You Lead.

Hope you have a blessed week!

Forgiveness

For the first time, I have asked a friend if I could share her story in my blog. Earlier in the week I was asking God what to write about and it was one of those weeks where nothing was coming. And then, everything blew up. Not in my life for a change, but in the life of this friend. I know the entire situation and my heart breaks for her.

1 Peter 4:10 says, "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."

 This particular friend has the gift of helping others. I love it when someone uses their talents so effortlessly that sometimes they themselves may not even realize what their talent is. Other see it though. I see it, but most importantly, God sees it.

My friend sees someone who needs taken care of and she is there. People know this, and they honestly ask her to help them out. Somehow they know they are going to be okay if she is taking care of them.

Recently though, someone took advantage of her generosity. And she is left hurt, and disappointed because she knows, as do many others, including myself that she was doing the best thing for all concerned. She is trying so hard to forgive the person who did this to her, and through all the hurt, you can tell, she genuinely still cares, and is worried about this person, even though she is, at the very same time, trying to find the way to forgive the things that have been said about her.

I am asking for prayers for her today to be able to find peace with the situation, which is the main thing SHE needs. I am also asking an unspoken request, God definitely knows and He knows the end result.

I know she knows God tells us to forgive, and I know she knows He has already forgiven each of us for more than we could even fathom doing to someone else but it is still hard. Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." I also understand how hard it is to forgive when someone doesn't even care that they have hurt you. There is a big difference between not knowing you did something to offend someone and knowing you did something and just not caring. We are in the case of the later.

The thing is, I think we come across things in our life that we believe we just can't forgive, but yet when we do, our life is better for it. There is a point when Renee says the song talks about setting a prisoner free, and the prisoner is you.


I am going to do something different this week. I want you to watch this video, it explains so much more than I ever could. This has had a profound effect on me and as much as I would love to put into eloquent words how to forgive somebody, this video just shows it so much better.



No matter what you are needing to forgive someone for, God can help you do the impossible.