Turn Around

 Good morning everyone!

I hope everyone has had a great week! I have. We pulled off a great eclipse event in Jasper County on Monday and yesterday I got to spend the day with my mom, with no doctor visits involved! We were still on a mission, but it was an adventure. I treasure the days I get to spend with my mom. I also treasure days I get to spend with my son and some conversations I have had this week has brought me to this post.

Until Robert was almost 7, I was a stay-at-home mom. That wasn't the original plan but it was God's plan and that was what was important. When we moved to Pennsylvania 6 weeks before he was born, I knew I wasn't gong to trust anyone enough to take care of him. Especially when the first news we heard when we got the tv hooked up was how a babysitter had put a baby in a dryer and killed him. 

I am so glad I had the opportunity and I treasure that as I know there are a lot of families out there that it just can't happen for anymore. I was also fortunate in when I did go back to work, I had one very good babysitter and my mom who took Robert until he was old enough to stay by himself. 

I have so many good memories of things we did. And actually, going back to my own mom, who was able to stay home with me, I have two generation memories. 

One of my favorite little kid memories was sitting on the front step eating lunch with my mom, she would fix my lunch in the summer and bring it out and she and I would sit on the front step and eat it. I was one of those kids that, if it was summer, I wanted to be outside. Probably why I drive a convertible and my two favorite places on my own property is my front porch and the back patio. I also remember my mom doing things with me though. As I got older, we would play Scrabble, or do puzzles. We took walks and of course, we would work. My mom and her brother took care of my grandmother until she died when I was 18. Mom would go to my grandmothers daily and fix lunch so in the summer I would help. That was a good thing because the summer of my junior year, my mom knew she was going to have to go to the hospital as her diabetes was causing some problems and she was holding out until I got out of school so I could take over lunch duties. My mom is very much where my work ethic, as well as my feelings about being responsible comes from. And as I look at Robert, I see he has gotten those same things from me.

I was telling a friend this week about some of the things we did when Robert was little. One thing we used to do was if we were someplace at least 30 minutes away, we would try to get home without getting on any major highways any more than we had to. There was one Saturday afternoon that Robert and I had went to town to get groceries. I was still staying at home so there was a pretty good chance that the bank account wasn't looking great, especially after groceries, but Robert has asked if we could try to get home without the highways. I told him no, we need to get on home, on top of everything else, I was running close on gas. He was fine with it, but I wasn't. we got about a mile out of town and I turned around, went and got $5 in gas and we took our time getting home. We did that game many times but he remembers me turning around.

My friend was telling about similar situations where one of her kids will want to play catch right as she is trying to fix supper. She turns off the stove and plays catch for a few minutes. And it makes such a huge difference.

It makes those kids want to spend time with you, and as you get older, the more you treasure that your kids want to spend time with you. When I hear Robert tell someone things that we have done together, it melts me. I know, respect and truly love a lot of people, but that relationship with my mom and the one with Robert are two of the absolute most treasured.

We often quote verses about parenting such as Train up a child in the way he should go, and Children, Obey your parents (This was one of the first verses I helped Robert memorize, lol). But I want to point out a few other verses to you today. 

Psalms 127:3-5a

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Lots of verses reminding us to treasure God's gifts to us. 

And remember, nobody, absolutely nobody is perfect. God gives us parents to have a safe place to fall here on earth. I am a long way from the perfect parent, but I know Robert knows he can count on me and his dad no matter what and that is what is most important to me when it comes to parenting.

I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs, Needtobreathe's Fall on Me. This is a great song to describe what God wants the parent/child relationship to be. Both with Him as our ultimate Father, and with our children and parents here on earth. 

I also want to add a little perspective. One November morning, in 1980, my dad came in my room, pinched me on the butt and told me to get up, he continued to give me a hard time until I stood up in the bed, looked him in the eye and said, "I'm up already!" It was a fun moment. and one of my very last with him. He went home to be with Jesus at noon that day. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.

The Journey Part 3

 Happy Saturday morning!

Haven't written about the weight loss journey for a while so I thought I would throw this in today.

First off, I made it to ONEDERLAND!! Actually a couple of weeks ago, and now I am at 147 lbs down, or 196 lbs. Andrew weighs 190, so of course my next two goals are hitting the 150 down mark and hitting 189 so I weigh less than him.

I left off last time at being at 209, new baby, not being able to lose weight and being told I was just having a little post partum depression. 

Well, we moved back to Illinois when Robert was 18 months old, we moved to Pontiac, about 1 1/2 hours south of Chicago. Life was going along fine, I was still fat but wasn't gaining, I wasn't eating, but I wasn't gaining so that was at least good. I kept deciding sometime surely I would lose my baby fat. 

Then, one day, w were cleaning out the garage and I picked up a trash bag that had broken glass in it. The bag was heavy and I hoisted it up my leg to help leverage the weight. It had a piece of broken glass in it and the weight of the bag against my leg ran the glass deep into my thigh. Deep enough I had to have 11 stitches. (Note: always wrap broken glass in newspaper or something when putting it in the trash: lesson learned). 

Since we were only a little over 3 hours from home, I came home and went to my mom's doctor to have the stitches removed. Andrew worked a ridiculous amount of hours, I didn't have a babysitter in Pontiac and this seemed easier. So, at 12 days out, the doctor went to remove the stitches and decided they hadn't healed. My mom being a lifelong diabetic, and her families history of diabetes, it was the first thing they checked but my sugar was in the normal ranges. They then checked my thyroid and found out it was basically not functioning at all. Robert was almost 2 and the doctor figured I had started with postpartum thyroiditis. So, he put me on thyroid medicine but since I was also overweight and he had found the reason I wasn't losing, he put me on Fen-Phen, which was a combination of fenfluramine and phentermine. I went from my 209 to 145 in about 6 months. Then we moved to Indiana.

My new doctor in Indiana would prescribe any more Fen-Phen as it had just came out that it was causing heart valve issues. He also decided that he would take me off the thyroid meds to see where we were at. 

I gained all my weight back but my thyroid levels would come back fine. So, once again, I was at 218 and stayed there for a long time. I wasn't watching what I ate, wasn't working out, I had just decided to face facts and live with it.

We moved to Olney in 1998, and started working for ERBA in 2000. I weighed my 218 the day I started working for ERBA. My supervisor fast become one of my closest friends and we started walking at lunch, eventually, we started working out and I would lose a few pounds and gain a few pounds and I continued to do that for literally years. I changed jobs in 2004, still working for ERBA but working at the Corporate office in Greenup. I weighed 250 when I started work there. We were living in Olney and I was driving to Greenup everyday so my work day became almost 2 hours longer. The thought of throwing exercise into that mix was laughable so I stayed at 250 for the next several years. I was wearing a size 20W and my health and weight, though I was always "trying", was not on the forefront.

This is probably a good stopping point for today. 

To be continued next month!

Happy Saturday!

The Way of The Cross Leads Home

 Happy Saturday morning! And more importantly, Happy Easter!

I truly hope that when you hear the word Easter, bunnies and eggs are not the first thing that pop in your head. Hopefully it is a cross, an empty cross.

Sorry I was gone a couple of weeks,  I had told myself I wasn't going to be a slave to the blog and so I give myself permission to take a week off now and then. I did that two weeks ago and then last week, I was in Missouri for Andrew's cousin's funeral. Last week was suppose to be the weight loss week but it will have to wait. With Easter here, I have to talk Christ today.

We have had revival this week and it has been glorious! I know people who aren't believers cannot understand why we would go sit for three nights in a row listening to preaching about our Savior but for believers, it is a spa treatment for the soul. We always hope and pray that someone might come that doesn't know the Lord and they could get to but most of the time, revival is just that, reviving the Spirit in those of us who believe.

This week didn't disappoint. I will tell you, when I was a young teen, we would have two week revivals and I loved it! It is great to surround yourself with believers. It feels good, and right.

One of our preachers this week mentioned several times about  the old song, The Way of the Cross Leads Home. And that is one of the many things that has stuck in my mind.

The only way to get to spend eternity in Heaven is if you have personally accepted Christ as your Savior, there is no other way. Being a "good person" doesn't cut it, I hate to tell you this, but there are good people in Hell because God made a way for us to go to Heaven and if you don't take it, you don't go to Heaven. 

I was at one of our senior centers this week and was overhearing an older man and woman visiting. The woman was telling about having a dream and the angel Gabriel was standing at the end of her bed. He told her he needed to show her something. The next she knew she was standing in front of truly a lake of fire and up out of it came her father-in-law. He screamed to her, "Don't let my boys burn." It shook her so very badly but she started working harder on making her husband and brother-in-law understand Salvation. 

I was looking for the verses to describe hell and ran across this very short Q&A from billygraham,org, I think this answers that question perfectly.

Q:

I know people ask you from time to time what you think heaven is like, but I'd also be interested to know what you think hell will be like. I have a friend who says he's looking forward to hell, because all his friends will be there and they'll have one big party. He's not right, is he?

---

A:

No, he certainly isn’t right. If he could have only a brief glimpse—even just a tenth of a second’s look—at what hell is like, he’d never say again that he looks forward to going there.

Not one word in the Bible suggests that hell is a pleasant place, or a place where anyone would ever want to go. Jesus called hell a place of “outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 25:30, KJV). In one of His parables, Jesus told of a man who was in hell, begging for someone to come and “cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire” (Luke 16:24). The only companions anyone will have in hell will be “the devil and his angels” (Matthew 25:41).

There is much we don’t know about hell—but we know all we need to know. And the most important thing we know about hell is that we don’t have to go there! Yes, we have sinned, and we deserve only God’s judgment. But God loves us, and Christ came to deliver us from hell and welcome us into heaven forever.

Don’t take hell lightly—but don’t take Christ lightly, either. Instead, by a simple prayer of faith ask Him to forgive your sins and come into your life today. The Bible’s promise is true: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

I have heard so many people say it doesn't matter where they go, they will know people either way. Friendship is a form of love, love is from God, there will be no friends in Hell.

So, tomorrow is Easter, it falls in the Spring, that perfect time of renewing, fresh cut grass, spring cleaning. I always think it is a second chance at a new beginning after the New Year. Isn't it time for your second chance on life to start? Accepting the fact that you were supposed to die on that cross, and GO TO HELL because of the things you have done. And please understand, sin is sin. You being mad and mouthing off to someone because they cut you off in traffic is sin. You losing your temper and slamming the phone down on a phone call that upset you is sin. You driving 56 mph in a 55 is sin. You telling someone you were busy doing this or that and couldn't come over when they asked  when you really just didn't want to go, is sin. God doesn't qualify sin. Humans do. We think that murder is sin but telling "a little white lie" isn't., That is 100% wrong. 

If you are feeling moved by your sin, ask Christ to save you, then, and here is the rest of the story..... start living your life for someone who gave His life for you. How would you feel if you were crossing the street and someone  realized there was a semi coming that you didn't see? As you were crossing the street, someone comes running up and pushes you out of the way, consequently, they died. They died because you weren't paying attention and walked into danger without even realizing it. Christ went to a cross and died for you, just like that person ran in front of a truck. That person had done nothing wrong but was trying to save you. Christ was sinless, but yet he died so we had an opportunity to go to Heaven. It isn't automatic though, you have to accept it and you have to live for Him.

I am leaving you with the song, The Way of the Cross Leads Home.

Happy Easter, my Christians friends, He is risen indeed, that is what makes Christ our Savior. He conquered death for us. To those unbelievers that are reading this, this could be the first day of the rest of your life. God didn't promise rainbows and butterflies in this life but once you have Jesus, you do realize you are never alone in what you are going through and there is truly a peace that passes understanding even when things don't go your way. If you need to talk about this more, message me here, or contact me on messenger on Facebook, I would truly be honored to tell you more about my Jesus.

Stuff

 If you read the blog last week, I warned you. This week we are going to talk about "stuff".

I started a decluttering mission at the beginning of the year, trying to dig deep into getting excess stuff out of my life one room at a time. Yard sale week is May 11th and hopefully, I have time to get my stuff together and be ready for it because I definitely have enough now unwanted stuff for a sale.

I was doing okay with the fact that I was making things more simple and just feeling really good about what I was accomplishing until I watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie. It is funny, I remember laying on the floor of the living room anxiously awaiting the first episode of the story of one of my 7-year-old idols, Laura Ingalls. I was a reader from a young age and my mom and sister would read a lot to me too, We had already read most of the LIW books before the showed aired, so I was hard pressed to miss an episode. Andrew on the other hand, had never watched it, so these shows are new to him.

Anyway, it was a Christmas episode and  My Edwards had tromped through a blizzard to get the girls gifts from Santa. The gifts consisted of a tin cup (so they NOW had cups of their own), a peppermint candy stick, a cake and a penny. And they were elated.

What has happened to us?

I pondered this question more then next day on my way to the gym, during my prayer time. Why do we feel the need to have so much stuff? What are we doing? 

There was a time it was called, "keeping up with the Jones", but I seriously don't think that is it for me. Then I think a thought to my head came, we all know when we are in Heaven, we will want or need nothing. Have I been trying to create Heaven on Earth?

And of course, the moment this thought hit my mind, so did Matthew 6:19-21 

9 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

And then it hit me, we also have a saying, "Home is where the heart is". Yep, maybe that was what I was trying to do and missing the point all together. 

I am not against having nice things at all. I don't think God wants our time here on earth to be miserable by any means. But I do wonder what I could have done for others with some of the money I spent trying to just make myself feel better and now I am getting ready to hope and pray that someone else will buy it for pennies on the dollar. 

When I started decluttering, I also put us on a money diet. I have worked diligently at making sure I have menus planned, so we don't eat out on the spur of the moment. I have limited (but not quit mind you) my Starbucks and Scooter's habits and made myself write down every penny we have spent. It is a lot like counting calories. If you write it down, you realize quickly that you have spent $25 on coffee in a week when for the same $25 you could buy the coffee, sweetener, almond milk and even flavoring and get more than 3 cups of coffee. And of course, I have a goal in mind. I am trying to plan an entire trip in the fall using nothing but the savings from my budget. 

I am still kind of in awe myself that not once since January 1 have I came home and told Andrew, we will just grab Chinese. We haven't done it. I have ate out when I travelled (and that was paid for by my work), but he had food at home. As a couple, we have had lunch out one day, the week after Valentines Day, and I have had a couple of lunch dates with friends and I limited myself to eating out once a week at work, because we are sometimes other places and it is unavoidable and I will just say it, sometimes you just need to walk away for an hour, but I can honestly say I haven't ate out every week, and it makes me feel good that I am prioritizing a little better.

So, as you go about your week, I hope you remember our treasures are in Heaven. Our worth is not in what we own, but in the sacrifice Christ made for us on the Cross.

I am leaving you with a song to say just that. This is Keith & Kristyn Getty with My Worth Is Not in What I Own.

Happy Saturday!

Thank You, Lord.

Good morning!

    I hope you all have had a great week! I have, and this morning, as I stepped out my front door to soak in a few minutes of quiet, I had that overwhelming feel of gratitude. We have a lot going on in our lives, and I have had a lot on my mind, heart, soul, and plate lately. Some I can talk about, some I can't, with anyone but God that is. And oh how thankful I am that I can talk to Him. He has carried me through some really tough times lately and keeps reminding me He is in control. And then this week, He has just given me gifts and I feel so very loved.

My State monitoring was this week. Once a year, our grantor comes and looks at our processes and goes over several of our files with a fine tooth comb. Their job is not to play, "gotcha" but to make sure we are using the funds entrusted to us to the best interest of the grantor, and ultimately, the tax payer. We had a new system for doing our furnace programs this year and I was very unsure if my files for it would pass the muster. I had even warned my Grant Manager that I wasn't happy with them. 

My monitoring couldn't have went any better and he couldn't figure out what I was worried about. That felt good. 

But then, last night happened. It was like God's reward to me for things that I have been going through. 

\

When I was a freshman in high school, we had an English teacher, Mike Hartrich, that just made English fun. One of our all time favorite units was Music is Poetry. We studied the meanings behind such songs as American Pie, Blowin' in the Wind, and Sounds of Silence. We loved it. I didn't realize his tenure started in the '70's but he had a lot of students. And many of us have begged him over the years to share his notes. Last night, he did, to a packed event center of NCHS graduates. As Mr. Hartrich said, "It is like a big multi year class reunion". And I will tell all of you that didn't get to be there, you missed something cool.

To add to my evening, my two BFF's from high school came down and so we relived it together. What a great night. Good job Sarah Diel Kinkade and the Jasper County Chamber of Commerce!  

A bonus was getting to see so many people I hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. Just looking around the room and thinking, it is so good to be home.

Then, to top that off, the girls came over and we sat and visited until almost midnight. We are spending the day together today and all I can think is I am just so thankful for what God gives me.

To even add to that, we are spending the day exploring Casey and since we are in my neck of the woods, I wanted to drive. Irene isn't really the friendliest car when you have 3 people and it isn't 80° outside so the top can be down. I am thankful I live close enough to my mom to switch cars with her for the day. Yes, we have a van but Andrew has been using it for work and it would need a good detailing before we could take it on a trip like that. And then, on top of that, she baked her girls cookies, they were even low-calorie! Yes, this is blessed.

I love that feeling, it feels like God has wrapped his arms around me and said, "See, your life here is good, not what it is going to be in Heaven, but it is still good. I do take good care of you". And the only thing better than truly knowing He takes good care of us is feeling He takes good care of us.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19.

This was not what I was going to talk about at all today, but I just had to share. Next week  we are going to talk about "stuff", literally. 

But for right now, just take a few minutes to close your eyes and count your blessings. Really let it soak in how Blessed you really are. He takes good care of us.

I am leaving you with Seph Schlueter and Matt Maher singing Counting My Blessings. He even gave me the perfect song for this post. :-)

Happy Saturday! 

The Journey Part 2

 Good morning everyone! 

    Sorry I missed last week, We had been in Vegas for a conference and our ETA of 7:30 pm to get home turned into 11:15 pm for me. Since I had been gone Valentine's Day, Andrew and I ran away from home for a bit last Saturday, so the blog went by the wayside.

This is the week to continue my weight loss journey. I am to the point where I have slowed down losing. I knew it would get there, in fact, everyone, even my doctor, is surprised I haven't hit a stall. I have lost 6 lbs in the last month, bringing my total to a little over 140 lbs. I am STILL chasing the elusive Onederland, but I am 3.1 lbs from it, so hopefully within the next 2 weeks. I also travelled a lot last month, and even though I walked an unreal amount (17 miles in a 24 hour period week before last) and really didn't do bad at eating, travelling still makes it hard. So, I am giving myself grace because I know I am still eating right for the most part and still working out and it will come off.

The first post was about my teenage years. After high school, I started working and honesty, maintained the 150 lbs for quite a while, I got up to 180 once but turned around and got it back down to 150. I worked jobs that I was on my feet all day, first at the Dairy Queen, then Richard's Farm Restaurant, then while at the Farm, I added Richard's Refinery and was working a minimum of 12 hour days every day while I did that, I went back to the Dairy Queen for a bit and then finally to Walmart. I pretty well maintained my weight but told myself since I spent so many hours on my feet, I didn't need to exercise. While at Walmart, I switched jobs from being a sales associate to Loss Prevention. I caught shoplifters. I loved it but I wasn't very strong, which played out in a bad way the day that we had a heavy set lady stealing video tapes. I got beat up, pretty bad actually. ended up in the ER. That day, I decided the being on my feet wasn't enough and started exercising. This was my first stint in running and I got to where I could run a mile, I also dropped a few pounds and then Andrew and I started dating, got married and I got pregnant.

When I got pregnant, I gained 10 lbs almost immediately, nobody could understand it. 3 weeks into my pregnancy, I lost a baby. A lot of people doesn't know Robert was a twin. I had never heard, until then, that you could lose a twin that early in pregnancy and keep the other one. Then, to top it off, they didn't tell me I had actually miscarried. The just said that my baby was still there and I would need to go on bedrest so I didn't lose it. That is a whole other blog post for someday. So, here I was, home alone because Andrew was on the road remodeling Walmart stores, and I could be up 10 minutes for every 20 minutes I laid down. I gained weight, a lot of weight. 68 lbs to be exact. The day I went to the hospital, I weighed 218 lbs. The day I came home, I weighted 209. I started working on getting it off and nothing seemed to work. We lived in Hanover Pennsylvania at the time and I would tell my doctor things didn't feel right and she would tell me I was homesick and probably had a little postpartum depression. So  I settled into this is how life was and me and my 209 lb body tried to be friends. I wasn't depressed, seriously. I loved Robert and was extremely excited by every day with him and Andrew and that is just not part of the post partum depression. We had a pediatrician seperate from my doctor, so after my six week visit after Robert was born, I didn't go to the doctor anymore. We actually didn't even have a family doctor out there, just the OB/GYN.  I wish I would have had a bigger voice to have them do some more checking on me. 

More to come next month.

I want to remind you that our bodies are amazing things. God is incredible when you think about all the things he made happen. All our organs working together, how neat our fingernails and toenails are (and since we were talking about babies, aren't baby toenails and fingernails just amazing?)

Remember for this week that Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Just the fact that God can create us to support another life inside of us, and produce a miracle and it happens everyday, that is amazing to me.

And, just because it seems like life is a little crazier than normal and I have my state monitoring visit coming up this week, I am leaving you with my theme song, and actually my word for 2024. 

I picked this word because I want to be stronger not only mentally, but physically. Last year my word was transform. I think I did that, ;-)

So, here is Ann Wilson's Strong because I do know who makes me strong.

My favorite part is "Lord knows I've tried but I'm good at falling down, Thank God you're good at picking me up off the ground". Yep, story of my life, right there.

Have a great week!

What are You Talking About?

 Good morning everyone, I hope you all had a good week.

I saw something on facebook this week that made me know what I was writing about.

This:

And I really thought, this is good to remind everyone but I really don't think there is an age limit on this. 

Words hurt, and when people are talking about you, it hurts, no matter how old you are. And honestly, yes, it hurts worse when people just keep reminding you but it hurts even when it happens for a short time.

The last few years there has been a thing going around that says, "What other people think of you is none of your business." I don't know if it is different being from a small town or what, but I can't wrap my head around this. If there is someone out there that can tell me they truly don't care what anyone thinks of them, I believe I would show you a picture of a pretty lonely person. But maybe I am wrong. I know I personally care very much what others think of me.

I had an incident happen almost a year ago where I was told by several people things about my personal business that was told to them and of course, who told it. It killed me, and of course, just like the age old game of telephone and I am sorry, but also like the REO Speedwagon song :-), "tales get taller on down the line". 

By the time it got back to me, it had taken something that I had done and twisted it and turned it into trying to cheat someone out of something. I was heartsick, and I truly don't remember telling this friend anything, but I didn't know I had to watch what I said around them. Needless to say, I know now and I have come to see this person as someone who needs to make sure people knows they knows everything about everyone. And that in itself hurts. 

There is a big difference between being concerned and just wanting to know everyone's business. I am watching someone close to me go through some things right now and part of what has been standing in the way of healing is worrying about what everyone is going to think. If they hadn't seen and heard other people be belittled for the same issues, it wouldn't be so bad, but it has been bad.

So, I want to talk a little bit about gossip today.  There are a lot of verses in the Bible that lets us know gossip is a sin. 

Proverbs 16:28 says "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends."

Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood, a fire goes out; without gossip, a conflict ceases."

Proverbs 11:13 "A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence."

Leviticus 19:16 "Never gossip. Never endanger your neighbor's life. I am the Lord"

Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly."

James 3:5 "In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze"

I could go on and on and on, there are many of them. It is wrong.

While researching for this post, I ran across this too, 

"Notice, we never pray for folks we gossip about, and we never gossip about the folks for whom we pray! For prayer is the great deterrent." 

Leonard Ravenhill

I also ran across this one, "Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you". I find that to be true. 

I learned years ago that when someone tells me something someone else told them about me, my first reply is, "and what did you say".

Remember that when choosing friends.

I don't know if I have less desire to just run and tell everything I know because of my job but I work in a job where confidentiality is a must and so I guess I just don't understand that just because you know something means it is your job to tell the world. 

I see a lot of people hurting and needing help, and many of them don't come to our agency as soon as they could for fear someone will find out and criticize them for being weak. In our office, gossiping is a firing offense. 

Let me bring this back around to the bottom line.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is perfect. Nobody is immune to falling on tough times or getting off of their straight and narrow path, and NOBODY is good enough to be able to talk about anyone else's downfalls. If one single human was perfect, Christ's death and resurrection would have been a joke.

I leave you today with Mark Wills' "Don't Laugh at Me". If you normally don't take the time to watch the video and listen to the song, I beg you, please do so today. Make sure you see that part, "Don't get your pleasure from my pain."

See you next week.

Back to the Basics

 Happy Saturday morning everyone!

I hope you have had a good week, mine has been busy, but I have accomplished a lot. Getting ready for a couple of weeks of traveling so things are about to get a little busier.

So, a series of events has prompted this week's blog. First, we started a new book study Sunday night at church, it is called The Unsaved Christian and it is very compelling to me. It is about our friends and family who confess to be a Christian but have never really accepted Christ as their Savior, or have that personal relationship with God, in one point of the book it mentions that a lot of people believe if they are not atheists, they are Christians, One of the study questions was, "If someone asked you why you're a Christian, or more specifically, how you know you are a Christian, what would you say?" We discussed 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Then Monday morning, on my way to the gym, listening to My Daily Bread, that verse came up again. And wouldn't you know, on Thursday, while on the treadmill, watching David Jeremiah, it came up again. You know how sometimes you wish God would give you a sign? I think He was saying, "Here's your sign".

So, today, I give you my own testimony as well as a path to salvation if you have never really made this about you and God.

I was saved when  I was 12. Well, I will back that up a little. I believe I was probably saved earlier than that but my dad was a big believer in the age of accountability and he didn't want me to profess to be a Christian before he was sure I was old enough to really understand what that meant. So, the year I was 12, I  went forward at the end of church service and professed to our congregation that I wanted to be a Christian. Our pastor at the time, Richard Young, took me through the following verses to make sure I understood.

There is a set of verses in Roman's that spells out the entire path of Salvation, we call it the Roman Road. It starts with Romans 3:23

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

This means absolutely everyone. We are human so we are sinners. Many people believe they are good people, so they don't sin. You know when you spouted off in anger at a friend or loved one, or even a stranger as you were driving down the road? Or when you had a not so nice thought about someone? Or when you told "a little white lie" or got upset because someone you didn't believed deserved something got it? That is all sin. Sin is not limited to getting drunk, having an affair, or premarital sex, stealing and murder. It's the little things and I am afraid we all do them. Bottom line, the first step to being saved is understanding you need to be saved.

When Adam and Eve sinned, that brought sin into the world, and God said because of sin, we would now be subject to death. Romans 3:10 says "No one is righteous- not even one". That means you and me and Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."

The book we are reading brought up a point that a lot of unsaved Christians believe in Heaven but not hell. There is both, the Bible tells us so, and if you have never asked Christ to be your Savior, the cold hard fact is, you are not going to Heaven when you die. Hell is not a place I would wish on my worst enemy, and we may have a talk about that in the near future, because the Bible does tell us what Hell will be like.  

As I said, God made a way out for our sin when He sent Christ to earth. Some people may think they have done too many bad things in life to ever be saved. But I want to remind you of something, God MADE you! This may be easier to understand if you are a parent. Your kids can do a lot of things against you but you know you will always love them. There may be times you don't like what they are doing, but you always love them.

So the next verse of the Roman Road is Romans 5:8, "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Nobody and I mean NOBODY is too bad to be accepted by God if they turned to Him.

So, now, you may be thinking that's all well and good, but what is next.

Romans 10:9-10 says "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by belief in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.

See, God sent Christ to earth, in the form of a human, had him walk this earth for 33 years and then had him die on the cross for our sins. He was the only perfect person to ever walk the earth. And he was put on the cross and died to cast your sins away. Three days later, Christ rose from the grave, which means He is a living Savior, and He transcended to Heaven and is there today with our loved ones who believed in Him in their lifetime.

 John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He sent His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." 

So, when you accept that God sent Christ, Christ died for your sins and by believing that, you will go to Heaven when you die, and you confess that to others, you are saved.

Sounds too easy, doesn't it? People try to put good works with Salvation. Good works is not a part of Salvation, it is a product of it. Once you are saved, you realize that you want your friends and family to be saved too, and you really want to start learning more about what God wants you to do. When you start realizing the depth of love it took to have Christ suffer and die, you find gratitude and that is where wanting to do your best for someone who took on all your failures, mistakes, stains and scars comes in. 

So, I want to remind you of a few more verses:

Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us."

and

Romans 8:1 "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ."

So once you are saved, you are saved.

I know when I was saved, I know why I was saved, I know how I was saved.

I also know that once you are saved, you have the Holy Spirit. When you are a Christian, I personally believe your conscience is from the Holy Spirit. That voice telling you when you know you are going against what God wants you to do. It could be a deep subject to talk about your conscience before being saved, but I believe if you aren't being led by God, you are being led by Satan, and Satan wants nothing more than to have people who consider themselves "good" to miss the boat to God's goodness. So I believe he can even tell you to do good things to keep you from seeing the need for Salvation.

The Holy Spirit can guide you in what you should and shouldn't do, but he is also a comforter. In those times when the weight of the world has been on my shoulders, and I give it to God, I can truly feel the peace wash over me. That is a huge thing to me. Once you belong to Jesus, you are truly never alone.

It wasn't long after I made my public profession of faith that my dad had a massive heart attack. There were many times as a 12-year-old, we were told he wouldn't live. He lived for another year and then, on a normal November day, while doing the job he loved, he had a second heart attack and was gone. I had indescribably peace even though I was hurting.  I have the assurance of knowing I will see him again. I have the assurance of knowing he is in a beautiful place worshiping at the feet of Jesus and our parting is only temporary because I too know I am Heaven bound.

I also know I am a sinner and I sin even though I try not to. Our goals as Christians is to try to be perfect, we know we will never achieve that here on earth, but we must try as every time we sin, we can see the nails being driven into Christ's hands. That is why He died. So you could live. Forever.

If you have never made that personal confession of faith, I just gave you all the steps. Once you have accepted Christ, you want to try to grow in your faith, There are plenty of places online and on your phone to find the Bible, Bible Gateway on your computer and the app YouVersion of your phone are two great places to start. Then, you need to find a place of worship. Seriously, the Church was created in the Bible, so you can fellowship with other Christians and being a new Christian, you will have tons of questions. Learning the answers to those questions is how you grow in faith.

Our church- Hidalgo Independent Christian Church has worship services every Sunday morning at 10:00, we have a Sunday evening Bible study at 6 on Sunday night and at 9:00 on Sunday morning, we have Sunday school. Our Worship service is on FaceBook live every Sunday morning at 10 (just search for Hidalgo Independent Christian Church and like our page)  if you are farther away. If you are close though, attending Sunday School and Bible Study are two great ways to let you discuss with other Christians what the Bible is trying to tell us and we would absolutely love to have you!

I hope this helps someone, if you are already a Christian, maybe this will give you the courage to share your faith. If you are a baby Christian, welcome to the family!

I am leaving you with Chris Tomlin's At the Cross (Love Ran Red), I made the statement earlier that when you realize the depth of God's love, it makes you so humble. This song describes that.

Happy Saturday!

Balance

Happy Saturday morning!

We made it through another week, albeit the weather was a rollercoaster. We had icy weather Monday, the threat of which made me stay home from the gym for the first weekday this year. That was a hard debate. I hated losing that streak, but it was the sensible thing to do. I am very happy that I made it there faithfully the rest of the week and got my daily routines in, even though the crazy fog, so I trek on. 

I talked a little about my visions and goals for 2024 but thought I would share a bit more today. A few years ago, I spent time with a life coach, Teresa McCloy. I was in the height of taking the verse, "I can do all things...." literally. Somehow, I was in that, "She who does the most is happiest" stage and I was in such a people pleasing mode that I was not saying no to anything. I was working 3 jobs and on a dead run between all of them. Teresa introduced me to the fact that my life was lacking one huge thing- Balance. 

I was getting lots of things done for lots of people but there were things I wanted to do and I had it in my head that serving others was how I was most productive for God. At least one of the jobs I was doing was directly because I knew the person needed help and so I threw myself all in to helping them and ended up with a full-time job out of it, thing is, my career, that I honestly love, really is way more than a full-time job already, and I wasn't really getting to grow in it like I really wanted to.  

I was spending so much time doing those things that I was ignoring so many other aspects of my life. I had someone cleaning my house once a week at the time, but I had totally forgotten how much joy I have in doing this myself.  I love to sew, and hadn't done it in years, I have a new Cricut that hasn't been out of the box more than 3 times. (but in the last month, I have turned Robert's old room into a craft room, so that's gonna change!)

I was making sure to fit all the mandatory things in to tell myself life was balanced, I would schedule time with friends, schedule date night, but I also would go for weeks on end and never just get to be at home for 24 hours. And the bottom line was, when I admitted it to myself, I was tired. All the time. 

Ironically, my thoughts of serving God because of all the other people I was serving was actually getting in the way of my service to God. Things like this blog went on the back burner. Things like trying to find little ways to really show God's love to others was out the window. I really wasn't serving him that well at all and I wasn't doing myself any good either. Honestly, there were a lot of my life that was suffering because I was trying to do too much.

So, I started setting boundaries and found a good planner to help me see what I am really doing. I am not getting paid for this by Cleaver Fox, but I have had 4 Cleaver Fox planners now. I just gifted Robert with his first one this week. 

Yes, it is a daily planner, but it also helps you make sure you are balancing everything, my new one asks me weekly what I am doing for my spiritual growth, my relationships with friends and family, my love life, my personal development, and so on. Then at the end of the week, you get to write down lessons learned, how you can do better next week and your biggest wins. It makes you realize every day is a treasure. And it makes you evaluate each month and write down your biggest wins and lessons learned and do a balance wheel to see where you are at.

My point this week is there is a quote out there, actually I found out this morning it is from Dolly Pardon, "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life". I don't feel I was in everything for the money, but I was truly putting off really living. 

So, this week, I want to tell you if you are caught in this trap, reevaluate. Are you really working for God when you are doing this, or are you working for the world? Romans 12:2 comes to mind, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

So, I took the day off yesterday, went to the doc with my mom but also did all my running so hopefully to get a day at home today, straightening up my house, getting some music ready for church tomorrow, cleaning my stove, reorganizing my freezer and probably gonna plop myself on the couch this afternoon and find a good movie or book. I feel I am becoming a better me because I am taking better care of me. I have stopped believing that just because I am to put Jesus and Others first and myself last doesn't translate to just taking care of me when there is time. It is still a priority.

I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs, it is called Anymore by Cain.

In my very type A personality and I still struggle with everything I just said above. I think I should be able to do everything everyone wants me to do all the time. Thing is, I was letting all the busyness stand in the way of my relationship with God BUT the devil tries to tell me that I am slacking. This song reminds me that when you keep your eyes on Jesus, you are not slacking, you are doing His will, not yours. And He loves you for it.

 

Here We Go

 Good morning, everyone!

So, last week, I announced that I was going to start sharing my weight loss journey since my surgery, one week a month. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I really need to start from the beginning.

I have had a weight problem most of my life. Actually, when I was very young, I don't think I was overweight. I didn't look like it anyway, I seemed to start putting on weight between first and second grades. Ironically, this was after spending a year eating soft foods (read literally baby food) because the doctor "thought" I had ulcers. I am so glad children's illnesses are diagnosed differently now. When we first decided there was a problem, the first thing the doctor assumed was diabetes. They did tests for that and it came back negative, so, they "decided" I had ulcers. I had lots of stomach aches and was throwing up a lot. So, I ate all pureed and soft foods for a year until they decided I was over it. I went through much of my high school years with what would now be called irritable bowel syndrome, where I went back and forth between constipation and diarrhea (when you will see what I ate, you won't be surprised). In 2010, at the age of 43, I was diagnosed with Ulcertaive Colitis, which seemed to make all the rest of it make sense but wow what a long time coming in the right diagnosis. Through all of this though, I started gaining weight. By the time I was in 6th grade, I weighed 135 and by the time I got to high school, I was at 150 when most of the other girls were between 100-110. I was in marching band and so I think the exercise I got from that at least help me level off. 

So, now is the time to admit the bad habits I had in high school that contributed to my overweight life. First off, I never once ate lunch in the high school cafeteria or brought my lunch. We had a rec room in the basement of our high school where we could go buy food out of vending machines. I normally got either a bag of chips, Fritos, or Cheetos, a bag of cookies, or a sweet roll and a diet pop. Yeah, the diet pop made it all better. On nice days, we would walk to Huck's (which used to be right across the street from my house now) and get fried burritos or tater logs and that diet pop. Some days we would walk to IGA and get donuts and when we got old enough to drive, we would go to Hartrich's, across town, and get donuts, or we would go to the Freeze for pizzaburgers, or to the pizza hut for personal pan pizzas. I am a little amazed that I stayed at 150. On top of everything else, I was a very reluctant PE participant. I knew I was fat, and so I self-labeled myself as clumsy. Of course, kids are mean, and I was reminded daily that I was fat. So, I didn't put my heart into getting exercise. 

The irony is not lost on me that I had a free gym class 5 days a week when I was in high school and now I pay $20+ a month and drive 40 miles out of my way every weekday because I want to go the gym. Lessons learned and decisions regretted.

When I look back at things, I could have done so many things differently. If the junk food would have been once a week, instead of everyday, balanced with healthier choices, I wonder what my life would have been like? If I would have participated in PE instead of spending all my time trying to figure out how to get out of it and if I would have realized then that God gave me a temple and I should be trying harder to take care of it, would I have ever ended up having surgery? I don't know, but it wouldn't have hurt.

Some of my young adult friends were sharing with us the other night that one of the big things social media is pushing right now is being the "It girl", the one who has just the right make-up, skin care, clothes, and so on. I don't want people to focus so much on taking care of themselves that it is just a competition to see who can spend the most money but let me tell you, 56-year-old me wishes 16-year-old me would have tried a little harder to be healthy. I would have been so much better off to try to lose 40 lbs at 16 than trying to lose 208 lbs at 56. 

It would have been easier for that 150 lb teenager to force herself to learn to run than it was for the 343 lb 55-year-old. I actually could not physically run at 343. My knees, hips, and bottoms of my feet hurt so bad; tears would run down my face. I had told myself when I hit 240, I would start Couch to 5K. I did but realized at week 3 I was still too overweight to go with their timeline. So, I adjusted. I started out doing one minute at a time in a 20-minute cycle, so I started with walking 5 minutes, then alternating running and walking in one-minute intervals until I got to 14 then I would walk the last 6 minutes. I am currently up to 9 minutes each 20-minute cycle, walking 3, then running 1, walking 1, then running 2, walking 1, then running 3, walking 1, then running 2, walking 1, then running 1 and then walking the last 4 minutes. My goal is by the end of March to be able to walk 14 minutes of the 20. I am currently at 209, so I am really close to my next big goal of being in "Onederland". My doctor estimated that having the surgery alone, I should be able to get to 200 in a year, my surgery was 8 months ago last Wednesday, so I feel I have done well. The surgery didn't make it happen, it is a tool, and it has made it easier, I will explain more as I go.

Of course, I want to bring this back around to this blog glorifying God, which is what I am trying to do, in this, by taking better care of my body. We must remember 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

 At 16, it didn't seem like such a big deal to take care of myself. At 56, I am thankful that I don't have any more problems than I do but know I am heading into the years that can determine whether my golden years are golden or miserable. So, for those younger ones out there, just a reminder, 40 lbs. is easier than 200+, and it doesn't get any easier as you get older. Take care of that temple now.

I am leaving you with a song that I found that just reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Lord. :-)

See you all next week!

 

Being Bold

Good Morning!

    I trust you have all had a good week and are keeping warm on this chilly winter morning.  I heard the snowplow scraping our street at 1 and again at 4, so I was slightly disappointed to see that we had a mere dusting of snow on the ground this morning. So much for our winter storm, but of course, we got the cold temps. May be a good day to stay inside. I already have ham and beans in the crockpot and though I have a couple of errands to run, I am staying in as much as possible today.

Last Sunday night, we had a discussion at church about being bold.  I took it to heart and it has been a goal for this week. We were talking about the fact that we have some Christian young people in our community that are very bold in their beliefs and they are actually showing some of us that have been Christians for many years up. I was also fueled by one of the DJs on Sirius XM the Message. She was telling how, as a child, her mother was one of those people who would walk up to complete strangers and tell them about Jesus. Ashley Till told how this embarrassed her as a child, but now admires her mom for her confidence in Christ.

I decided this week to take babysteps in that direction. I am a firm believer that action speak at least as loud as words so I decided to start by making more eye contact and speaking first. I have been going to my gym faithfully since 2017. There are many of us that know each other without ever really speaking, but we will nod at each other as we pass and maybe a quick "good morning". I am a little hesitant about speaking to the newbies, and I decided this week, I would speak to everyone I encountered in the locker room as well as on the floor. I have succeeded. I haven't always gotten a reply back, but I do it anyway. It is a far cry from telling people about Jesus, but it is a start. 

Contrary to popular belief, when we are at the gym, I will tell you, nobody is really paying any attention to what anyone else is doing. I have never once been on the treadmill and looked down the row to try to figure out what someone was watching on tv, but I will tell you, if someone would ever do that to me, they will see I have two favorite treadmills. The ones that are directly in front of the screens for TV5. It is the History Channel, but from 5:30-6, when I am on the treadmill, it is a paid program by Doctor  David Jeremiah. I love watching and listening to his messages, it is an extra umph to my devotional, Bible Reading and prayer that I do on my way to the gym. 

So, I set my first goal as, "if I am still working up the courage to talk to people about Jesus, the least I can do is show them Jesus through my actions." 

I have also been trying to  be better about letting people know I am thinking about them.  As I see people struggling, I have put them on my prayer list. I have had a friend in the last few weeks make a couple of fb posts that made me think they were going through a storm. I started praying for them and when the opportunity arose, I told them I had been praying for them. They thanked me, let me know things really were alright, but I am still praying for them, I feel it is what I am supposed to do. 

That leads me to one little caveat. Don't tell someone you are going to pray for them unless you intend to do it. If I tell someone on facebook that I am praying for them, I stop right there and pray for them. Remember, God listens to everything you say, he doesn't wait for the "Hey God" cue, like you have to do with Alexa, he hears it all.  It doesn't have to be some elaborate long prayer, it takes literally seconds to ask God to be with them, protect them and help get them through this storm. 

So, today, as I am working on my journey to be that person that tells strangers about Jesus, I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs. I have probably shared it here before, but it is Anne Wilson's My Jesus. Watch the video, it is the story of how the song really came to be as Anne lost her older brother to a car wreak.

Happy Saturday and have a good week.

P.S. I have decided to one week a month focus on my weight loss journey since I had Gastric Sleeve surgery, next week is the week. See you then! 

Journals, Vision Boards and Peace

 Good morning and Happy 2024!

    After my long absence, I have so many things to share but I think you would need to be here all day, so I will drizzle all the things that has happened over the last year through the next year.

Over the past several years, I have been keeping a planner and trying to be more intentional about my life. I had started the original in March, so I always go March to March. This year I bit the bullet and ordered a new one so I could start January 1 (yes, I even had the crazy thought of doing the other one through March on top of this one just so I wouldn't have an "unfinished" planner, but I quickly decided to pull an Elsa and let it go, lol.). I have been using Cleaver Fox Planners the last couple of years, I originally had a bullet journal but realized, as much as I loved the artwork and creativity, it was something that I could do without if somebody else would put all my spaces in order for me. So, this year, with my planner in hand before the beginning of the year, I filled out EVERYTHING! There is a place to put your plans for the next 1, 5, 10, and 20 years, which granted, I didn't do all of those, but I did the one year, I may fill in the rest of the years as the year progresses. There is also a place for a vision board. I had wanted to do a full fledged vision board for quite a while, and this year I made myself. 

It is only 6 days into the new year, but seeing my dreams in pictures every morning when I open my book really makes it real and makes it real that it just takes me doing things to make it happen. One of my pictures is my blog. A couple of years ago, I had someone tell me that my blog was one of the ways I can let my light shine for God. I have another friend who prods me every so often to write, but I just haven't made it a priority. I get up at 4 during the week, so I can even sleep in until 5:30 or so on Saturday and surely find time to blog. So, here it is. I am happy to be back and  look forward to sharing God's word with you!

As I said earlier, a lot has happened this year, Mom has been sick some, she now has a new hiatal hernia that we are learning all about and Robert has started having issues with blood pressure and sugar. He gave us quite a scare in October when he had seizures, he had never done this before so that was a whole new thing. I wasn't there when it happened, but saw a lot of the aftermath. We went through a lot of possible diagnosis before they came up with they really didn't know why he had the seizures other than his blood pressure was too high, his sugar was too high and he was extremely dehydrated. At one point in time, they thought my baby boy, 31 years old, had a stroke, then they thought his organs were shutting down. I kept praying and repeating Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee on the right hand of my righteousness." It has always been my go to verse when I am afraid. I learned it in Vacation Bible School the summer before 7th grade, which was the summer before my dad had his first heart attack. Of course, it was sitting in the hospital that it dawned on me, my dad was only 12 years older than Robert when he died. 

You all know that music is a very big part of my life, so it will be of no shock that another thing that kept running through my mind was a song by Ryan Ellis called Gonna Be Alright.  This was a great source of peace for me.

Of course, Isaiah 41:10 tells us not to fear, but we also have  Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

I love that in this song it points out, "He's working all things for my good."

 I am gifting this song to you today as 2024 may have started out great for you, but I can almost guarantee that sometime in the next year, you are gonna need the reassurance that everything is gonna be alright and that God will hold you in his arm until your fear is gone. This is a song that gets stuck in your head, and there are just times you may just want it stuck in your head. I know there are for me.

I am happy to report they seem to have Robert's blood pressure under control, they are still working with his sugar, he has changed some habits (he had become almost addicted to those Cirkul drinks and we realized too much artificial sweetener can really be a bad thing and cause your sugar to have problems and dehydration). Most importantly, no signs of seizures!

Hope you have a great next week!