Balance

Happy Saturday morning!

We made it through another week, albeit the weather was a rollercoaster. We had icy weather Monday, the threat of which made me stay home from the gym for the first weekday this year. That was a hard debate. I hated losing that streak, but it was the sensible thing to do. I am very happy that I made it there faithfully the rest of the week and got my daily routines in, even though the crazy fog, so I trek on. 

I talked a little about my visions and goals for 2024 but thought I would share a bit more today. A few years ago, I spent time with a life coach, Teresa McCloy. I was in the height of taking the verse, "I can do all things...." literally. Somehow, I was in that, "She who does the most is happiest" stage and I was in such a people pleasing mode that I was not saying no to anything. I was working 3 jobs and on a dead run between all of them. Teresa introduced me to the fact that my life was lacking one huge thing- Balance. 

I was getting lots of things done for lots of people but there were things I wanted to do and I had it in my head that serving others was how I was most productive for God. At least one of the jobs I was doing was directly because I knew the person needed help and so I threw myself all in to helping them and ended up with a full-time job out of it, thing is, my career, that I honestly love, really is way more than a full-time job already, and I wasn't really getting to grow in it like I really wanted to.  

I was spending so much time doing those things that I was ignoring so many other aspects of my life. I had someone cleaning my house once a week at the time, but I had totally forgotten how much joy I have in doing this myself.  I love to sew, and hadn't done it in years, I have a new Cricut that hasn't been out of the box more than 3 times. (but in the last month, I have turned Robert's old room into a craft room, so that's gonna change!)

I was making sure to fit all the mandatory things in to tell myself life was balanced, I would schedule time with friends, schedule date night, but I also would go for weeks on end and never just get to be at home for 24 hours. And the bottom line was, when I admitted it to myself, I was tired. All the time. 

Ironically, my thoughts of serving God because of all the other people I was serving was actually getting in the way of my service to God. Things like this blog went on the back burner. Things like trying to find little ways to really show God's love to others was out the window. I really wasn't serving him that well at all and I wasn't doing myself any good either. Honestly, there were a lot of my life that was suffering because I was trying to do too much.

So, I started setting boundaries and found a good planner to help me see what I am really doing. I am not getting paid for this by Cleaver Fox, but I have had 4 Cleaver Fox planners now. I just gifted Robert with his first one this week. 

Yes, it is a daily planner, but it also helps you make sure you are balancing everything, my new one asks me weekly what I am doing for my spiritual growth, my relationships with friends and family, my love life, my personal development, and so on. Then at the end of the week, you get to write down lessons learned, how you can do better next week and your biggest wins. It makes you realize every day is a treasure. And it makes you evaluate each month and write down your biggest wins and lessons learned and do a balance wheel to see where you are at.

My point this week is there is a quote out there, actually I found out this morning it is from Dolly Pardon, "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life". I don't feel I was in everything for the money, but I was truly putting off really living. 

So, this week, I want to tell you if you are caught in this trap, reevaluate. Are you really working for God when you are doing this, or are you working for the world? Romans 12:2 comes to mind, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

So, I took the day off yesterday, went to the doc with my mom but also did all my running so hopefully to get a day at home today, straightening up my house, getting some music ready for church tomorrow, cleaning my stove, reorganizing my freezer and probably gonna plop myself on the couch this afternoon and find a good movie or book. I feel I am becoming a better me because I am taking better care of me. I have stopped believing that just because I am to put Jesus and Others first and myself last doesn't translate to just taking care of me when there is time. It is still a priority.

I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs, it is called Anymore by Cain.

In my very type A personality and I still struggle with everything I just said above. I think I should be able to do everything everyone wants me to do all the time. Thing is, I was letting all the busyness stand in the way of my relationship with God BUT the devil tries to tell me that I am slacking. This song reminds me that when you keep your eyes on Jesus, you are not slacking, you are doing His will, not yours. And He loves you for it.

 

Here We Go

 Good morning, everyone!

So, last week, I announced that I was going to start sharing my weight loss journey since my surgery, one week a month. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I really need to start from the beginning.

I have had a weight problem most of my life. Actually, when I was very young, I don't think I was overweight. I didn't look like it anyway, I seemed to start putting on weight between first and second grades. Ironically, this was after spending a year eating soft foods (read literally baby food) because the doctor "thought" I had ulcers. I am so glad children's illnesses are diagnosed differently now. When we first decided there was a problem, the first thing the doctor assumed was diabetes. They did tests for that and it came back negative, so, they "decided" I had ulcers. I had lots of stomach aches and was throwing up a lot. So, I ate all pureed and soft foods for a year until they decided I was over it. I went through much of my high school years with what would now be called irritable bowel syndrome, where I went back and forth between constipation and diarrhea (when you will see what I ate, you won't be surprised). In 2010, at the age of 43, I was diagnosed with Ulcertaive Colitis, which seemed to make all the rest of it make sense but wow what a long time coming in the right diagnosis. Through all of this though, I started gaining weight. By the time I was in 6th grade, I weighed 135 and by the time I got to high school, I was at 150 when most of the other girls were between 100-110. I was in marching band and so I think the exercise I got from that at least help me level off. 

So, now is the time to admit the bad habits I had in high school that contributed to my overweight life. First off, I never once ate lunch in the high school cafeteria or brought my lunch. We had a rec room in the basement of our high school where we could go buy food out of vending machines. I normally got either a bag of chips, Fritos, or Cheetos, a bag of cookies, or a sweet roll and a diet pop. Yeah, the diet pop made it all better. On nice days, we would walk to Huck's (which used to be right across the street from my house now) and get fried burritos or tater logs and that diet pop. Some days we would walk to IGA and get donuts and when we got old enough to drive, we would go to Hartrich's, across town, and get donuts, or we would go to the Freeze for pizzaburgers, or to the pizza hut for personal pan pizzas. I am a little amazed that I stayed at 150. On top of everything else, I was a very reluctant PE participant. I knew I was fat, and so I self-labeled myself as clumsy. Of course, kids are mean, and I was reminded daily that I was fat. So, I didn't put my heart into getting exercise. 

The irony is not lost on me that I had a free gym class 5 days a week when I was in high school and now I pay $20+ a month and drive 40 miles out of my way every weekday because I want to go the gym. Lessons learned and decisions regretted.

When I look back at things, I could have done so many things differently. If the junk food would have been once a week, instead of everyday, balanced with healthier choices, I wonder what my life would have been like? If I would have participated in PE instead of spending all my time trying to figure out how to get out of it and if I would have realized then that God gave me a temple and I should be trying harder to take care of it, would I have ever ended up having surgery? I don't know, but it wouldn't have hurt.

Some of my young adult friends were sharing with us the other night that one of the big things social media is pushing right now is being the "It girl", the one who has just the right make-up, skin care, clothes, and so on. I don't want people to focus so much on taking care of themselves that it is just a competition to see who can spend the most money but let me tell you, 56-year-old me wishes 16-year-old me would have tried a little harder to be healthy. I would have been so much better off to try to lose 40 lbs at 16 than trying to lose 208 lbs at 56. 

It would have been easier for that 150 lb teenager to force herself to learn to run than it was for the 343 lb 55-year-old. I actually could not physically run at 343. My knees, hips, and bottoms of my feet hurt so bad; tears would run down my face. I had told myself when I hit 240, I would start Couch to 5K. I did but realized at week 3 I was still too overweight to go with their timeline. So, I adjusted. I started out doing one minute at a time in a 20-minute cycle, so I started with walking 5 minutes, then alternating running and walking in one-minute intervals until I got to 14 then I would walk the last 6 minutes. I am currently up to 9 minutes each 20-minute cycle, walking 3, then running 1, walking 1, then running 2, walking 1, then running 3, walking 1, then running 2, walking 1, then running 1 and then walking the last 4 minutes. My goal is by the end of March to be able to walk 14 minutes of the 20. I am currently at 209, so I am really close to my next big goal of being in "Onederland". My doctor estimated that having the surgery alone, I should be able to get to 200 in a year, my surgery was 8 months ago last Wednesday, so I feel I have done well. The surgery didn't make it happen, it is a tool, and it has made it easier, I will explain more as I go.

Of course, I want to bring this back around to this blog glorifying God, which is what I am trying to do, in this, by taking better care of my body. We must remember 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

 At 16, it didn't seem like such a big deal to take care of myself. At 56, I am thankful that I don't have any more problems than I do but know I am heading into the years that can determine whether my golden years are golden or miserable. So, for those younger ones out there, just a reminder, 40 lbs. is easier than 200+, and it doesn't get any easier as you get older. Take care of that temple now.

I am leaving you with a song that I found that just reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Lord. :-)

See you all next week!

 

Being Bold

Good Morning!

    I trust you have all had a good week and are keeping warm on this chilly winter morning.  I heard the snowplow scraping our street at 1 and again at 4, so I was slightly disappointed to see that we had a mere dusting of snow on the ground this morning. So much for our winter storm, but of course, we got the cold temps. May be a good day to stay inside. I already have ham and beans in the crockpot and though I have a couple of errands to run, I am staying in as much as possible today.

Last Sunday night, we had a discussion at church about being bold.  I took it to heart and it has been a goal for this week. We were talking about the fact that we have some Christian young people in our community that are very bold in their beliefs and they are actually showing some of us that have been Christians for many years up. I was also fueled by one of the DJs on Sirius XM the Message. She was telling how, as a child, her mother was one of those people who would walk up to complete strangers and tell them about Jesus. Ashley Till told how this embarrassed her as a child, but now admires her mom for her confidence in Christ.

I decided this week to take babysteps in that direction. I am a firm believer that action speak at least as loud as words so I decided to start by making more eye contact and speaking first. I have been going to my gym faithfully since 2017. There are many of us that know each other without ever really speaking, but we will nod at each other as we pass and maybe a quick "good morning". I am a little hesitant about speaking to the newbies, and I decided this week, I would speak to everyone I encountered in the locker room as well as on the floor. I have succeeded. I haven't always gotten a reply back, but I do it anyway. It is a far cry from telling people about Jesus, but it is a start. 

Contrary to popular belief, when we are at the gym, I will tell you, nobody is really paying any attention to what anyone else is doing. I have never once been on the treadmill and looked down the row to try to figure out what someone was watching on tv, but I will tell you, if someone would ever do that to me, they will see I have two favorite treadmills. The ones that are directly in front of the screens for TV5. It is the History Channel, but from 5:30-6, when I am on the treadmill, it is a paid program by Doctor  David Jeremiah. I love watching and listening to his messages, it is an extra umph to my devotional, Bible Reading and prayer that I do on my way to the gym. 

So, I set my first goal as, "if I am still working up the courage to talk to people about Jesus, the least I can do is show them Jesus through my actions." 

I have also been trying to  be better about letting people know I am thinking about them.  As I see people struggling, I have put them on my prayer list. I have had a friend in the last few weeks make a couple of fb posts that made me think they were going through a storm. I started praying for them and when the opportunity arose, I told them I had been praying for them. They thanked me, let me know things really were alright, but I am still praying for them, I feel it is what I am supposed to do. 

That leads me to one little caveat. Don't tell someone you are going to pray for them unless you intend to do it. If I tell someone on facebook that I am praying for them, I stop right there and pray for them. Remember, God listens to everything you say, he doesn't wait for the "Hey God" cue, like you have to do with Alexa, he hears it all.  It doesn't have to be some elaborate long prayer, it takes literally seconds to ask God to be with them, protect them and help get them through this storm. 

So, today, as I am working on my journey to be that person that tells strangers about Jesus, I am leaving you with one of my favorite songs. I have probably shared it here before, but it is Anne Wilson's My Jesus. Watch the video, it is the story of how the song really came to be as Anne lost her older brother to a car wreak.

Happy Saturday and have a good week.

P.S. I have decided to one week a month focus on my weight loss journey since I had Gastric Sleeve surgery, next week is the week. See you then! 

Journals, Vision Boards and Peace

 Good morning and Happy 2024!

    After my long absence, I have so many things to share but I think you would need to be here all day, so I will drizzle all the things that has happened over the last year through the next year.

Over the past several years, I have been keeping a planner and trying to be more intentional about my life. I had started the original in March, so I always go March to March. This year I bit the bullet and ordered a new one so I could start January 1 (yes, I even had the crazy thought of doing the other one through March on top of this one just so I wouldn't have an "unfinished" planner, but I quickly decided to pull an Elsa and let it go, lol.). I have been using Cleaver Fox Planners the last couple of years, I originally had a bullet journal but realized, as much as I loved the artwork and creativity, it was something that I could do without if somebody else would put all my spaces in order for me. So, this year, with my planner in hand before the beginning of the year, I filled out EVERYTHING! There is a place to put your plans for the next 1, 5, 10, and 20 years, which granted, I didn't do all of those, but I did the one year, I may fill in the rest of the years as the year progresses. There is also a place for a vision board. I had wanted to do a full fledged vision board for quite a while, and this year I made myself. 

It is only 6 days into the new year, but seeing my dreams in pictures every morning when I open my book really makes it real and makes it real that it just takes me doing things to make it happen. One of my pictures is my blog. A couple of years ago, I had someone tell me that my blog was one of the ways I can let my light shine for God. I have another friend who prods me every so often to write, but I just haven't made it a priority. I get up at 4 during the week, so I can even sleep in until 5:30 or so on Saturday and surely find time to blog. So, here it is. I am happy to be back and  look forward to sharing God's word with you!

As I said earlier, a lot has happened this year, Mom has been sick some, she now has a new hiatal hernia that we are learning all about and Robert has started having issues with blood pressure and sugar. He gave us quite a scare in October when he had seizures, he had never done this before so that was a whole new thing. I wasn't there when it happened, but saw a lot of the aftermath. We went through a lot of possible diagnosis before they came up with they really didn't know why he had the seizures other than his blood pressure was too high, his sugar was too high and he was extremely dehydrated. At one point in time, they thought my baby boy, 31 years old, had a stroke, then they thought his organs were shutting down. I kept praying and repeating Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee on the right hand of my righteousness." It has always been my go to verse when I am afraid. I learned it in Vacation Bible School the summer before 7th grade, which was the summer before my dad had his first heart attack. Of course, it was sitting in the hospital that it dawned on me, my dad was only 12 years older than Robert when he died. 

You all know that music is a very big part of my life, so it will be of no shock that another thing that kept running through my mind was a song by Ryan Ellis called Gonna Be Alright.  This was a great source of peace for me.

Of course, Isaiah 41:10 tells us not to fear, but we also have  Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

I love that in this song it points out, "He's working all things for my good."

 I am gifting this song to you today as 2024 may have started out great for you, but I can almost guarantee that sometime in the next year, you are gonna need the reassurance that everything is gonna be alright and that God will hold you in his arm until your fear is gone. This is a song that gets stuck in your head, and there are just times you may just want it stuck in your head. I know there are for me.

I am happy to report they seem to have Robert's blood pressure under control, they are still working with his sugar, he has changed some habits (he had become almost addicted to those Cirkul drinks and we realized too much artificial sweetener can really be a bad thing and cause your sugar to have problems and dehydration). Most importantly, no signs of seizures!

Hope you have a great next week!