If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
So, glean from this, 16 things that make a healthy, happy, "what God wants for us" love.
1) Love is Patient
I find it interesting that Patience is first and probably the most important thing to help with all the other things listed. I struggle with patience myself and seem to think things would be better off done in my time, when we all know, God's time is the only timing that is truly perfect. We had been married about 6 years and living in Bloomfield, IN. We were celebrating the 50th anniversary of a couple that belonged to the church we were attending. When asked for their advice on how to have a happy marriage; the wife said, "If you want something changed about your husband, tell God, NOT your husband. Then God will either change your husband or show you that he wasn't the one that needed changed". I took this to heart and use it with EVERY relationship problem I have, husband, friend, family.....if I am having an issue, I start by telling God. It is amazing to me how many times He has shown He would take care of a situation and sometimes that He has told me to let it go.
2) Love is Kind
This seems to be something so many Christians seem to forget. There seems to be a lot of unkindness in the world, and I hate it when see it coming from Christians. Think twice, speak once, because contrary to the little kid's tale, Words do hurt. It also seems we are notorious for treating our loved ones worse than we treat total strangers. Unkind things cut deep, and when they are coming from someone you care deeply about, it is worse.
3) Love Does not Envy
There is no place for jealousy in a relationship. That being said, don't put yourself in situations where there is a reason for anyone to be jealous. I cannot stand seeing married people who flirt. A lot of people say flirting is harmless. Think back to when you first met your one and only, I can imagine some flirting went on. See where it led? I deal with a fair amount of men and women both and I have had to sit, painfully, through some of them flirting with people in front of me, and a few times, trying to flirt with me. I pretty well take everything they say and tell them something my husband would say, it works. It shuts it down without being offensive. I have to tell you, I learned that from watching a fellow male colleague who was being flirted with at our table at lunch. That was the day I learned his wife's name and realized instantly what he did. He turned the flirting into a conversation about his wife, my respect level raised higher for him that day and after that, I truly felt safe working with him.
4) Love Does not Boast
Boasting and talking yourself up isn't necessary when you are with the right person. If you are being you, and they are the right one, God is going to let them know you are the one for them, you don't need to. Just be you.
5) Love is not Proud
I think the translation that uses "puffed up" is my favorite. When you have to speak about how much you love somebody all the time, are you really honoring that person or are you deep down trying to proof to others how good YOU are. I apparently don't have many friends on fb that have to say constantly how much they love their significant other, but apparently there are some out there that has to say it on an hourly basis. The problem is, two weeks later, they have moved on to a new significant other. Herein lies part of the problem. That's not love. That is desperation and you need to realize you are back to that bit I was talking about last week of square pegs and round holes. If you are going through relationship after relationship, you might want to slow down and find a deeper relationship with your Lord and Savior first, let Him be your guide. That being said, yes, when Andrew does something really sweet, I share, it is still okay to tell others that you are thankful God gave you your one and only.
6) Love Does not Dishonor Others
If you have to put someone else down to feel confident in your relationship, that's not love. PERIOD.
7) Love is not Self-Seeking
If you are trying to see "what's in it for me", that's not love. Love is that yearning to make someone else happy, and you find you are happiest when you are making that someone else happy. In return, that person is wanting to make you happy. I love that old song, Mutual Admiration Society. I believe that is the epitome of not self-seeking.
8) Love is not Easily Angered
Okay, this is a picture of my husband. When we were younger, I would fly off the handle because of something he had done. He would sit and watch me and then say, "Are you finished?" which most of the time would make me laugh, at which time he would apologize or explain his actions. I have learned over the years to not get angry, because it truly isn't showing the best part of me. I wish I could say we never get upset with each other but that would be a lie, and everyone who has had a relationship knows it but I think the word there is easily. And the Bible tells us never to let the sun go down on your wrath. So, whatever it is, get it talked out before you go to bed.
9) Love Keeps no Record of Wrong
This is also one I have been guilty of, Andrew said in passing one day that I store anything stupid he says up for the next time I get upset. We weren't even arguing and I realized he was right. Do you hear people say, "I will forgive but I won't forget", that isn't REALLY letting it go. God forgives us completely, covering our sins with the blood of His own Son. I think we can all work on being better forgivers.
10) Love Does not Delight in Evil
Seriously, this always reminds me of Bonnie and Clyde. Yes, it is okay to laugh at that. But really, if Love does not delight in evil, how is it possible that they could even love each other? Just a thought, and I may be skipping over something here that someone really wanted to know about but my thought is, if you are trying to find a Christ-centered love, why would evil be a thought?
11) Love Rejoices in the Truth
Ahh...Truth, sometimes painful, sometimes good, but facts are facts, a relationship cannot be built on lies. If you start finding someone you are trying to get to know hasn't been truthful with you, I can pretty well guarantee you, God didn't send them to you. I have seen this first hand pretty recently, it never ends well.
12) Love Always Protects
Do you know what "Mom-Arm" is? Ask my son, he knows. He is 23 and to this day, if he is riding in the front seat and I am driving and I have to slam on my brakes, my right arm extends out across the passenger seat, hopefully holding him in place. Once you have ""mom-arm", it doesn't matter who is in that seat, and I will admit to putting it out there when nobody has been there at all. That is the way our relationships should be. Every chance we have to protect our loved ones from something that is going to hurt them, physically or mental, we just do. I believe it is a natural fruit of love.
13) Love Always Trusts
There are a handful of people in this world that I would trust with my life. Some are friendships, some are family, and of course, one is Andrew. I think this is one of those ways you can figure out who in your life you truly love.
14) Love always Hopes
When I hear this I think back to those days of our relationship being new, where we would sit for hours and talk about what our future was going to be like. Has it been anything like those thoughts in the first days? More no than yes, but the thing is, when God puts us on a new route, it is easier to adjust together. I know there is always one person that is walking this very same path. This goes back to what I said last week about that phenomenon of two becoming one.
15) Love Always Perseveres
I went to a wedding a few years ago that the pastor said, "Divorce should not be in your vocabulary".
This is tricky and please remember, right this instant, this is personal opinion here, NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS, okay?? I have seen marriages fail that I truly never believed God put them together in the first place. Was it regrettable that it failed, of course. I have too many friends that I believe God put their second (or whichever) marriage together to personally believe anything else though, as I said, personal opinion. I believe that the Love that is talked about in this chapter is God-centered love, not attraction, not infatuation but a deep, spiritual love. If that is the love you are entering into then as stated above, Divorce should not be in your vocabulary.
16) Love Never Fails
This is the "when your whole world is shattered but there is someone there to pick up the pieces and hold you back together" feeling. And the thing is, the bottom line, so to speak is, we have relationship here on earth that God lets us experience this with each other but when it all comes down to it HE sent His Son to be the ultimate lover of our soul. He loved us so much that He not only would die for us, He DID die for us.
I don't know if you have ever looked at these verses this way, but replace all of these points with Jesus. Perfect love, right there, laid out for you.
There are a ton of songs that would go with today's devo, but being the Matthew West fanatic that I am and self-confessing that I had a problem with Not Keeping a Record of Wrong, I chose The List. This is a lot about keeping a list of your own wrongs too, it is time to tear it into a million little pieces.
I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day. If you are a couple, Thank the Lord for that person in your life that God made just for you and if you are a single this year, find some time to revel in the love He has for you. And look around, chances are, there are people out there that you love and that love you. It may not be in a couple's relationship, but you have love in your life, don't overlook it.
ALSO, Because I am a music fanatic, watch Sunday for a special blog post, I think I will give you all a playlist of my favorite Christian Love Songs.
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