Believe

 Happy Saturday!

What a week it has been! Of course, I started out the week with a major check off my bucket list, ziplining! I had wanted to do this for so long and had been way over the weight limit, but Monday was awesome. I do know that there would have been no way I could have done this 2 years ago. I was very happy with the way my body reacted to everything, the ziplines, the suspension bridges, the climbing the rocky terrain, I kept up. During flight school, our guide was teaching everyone how to pull themselves in if they came up short, he said to me, don't worry about it, if you come up short, I will throw you a bag and pull you in. My first thought was, he is treating me differently because I am fat. but then I realized that wasn't it at all, he was treating me differently because I was at least 20 years older than all the others there! Funny thing was, I did ziplining really well and never came up short or overshot the platform. Everyone has asked if it was scary, no, I was not one bit scared. I had actually done some research and found Shawnee Bluffs had been open for over 10 years and had never had a newsworthy accident, I believed everything was very safe. Which brings us to today's Bible Study

Today we are looking at James 1: 5-8

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

I don't know if you have realized this if you are just joining us because I post this through the Faithful and Fit Foundations Facebook page, but my blog page is actually called Louder Than the Voices. The name is based on the Casting Crowns song Voice of Truth, because I, as I know many others, struggle with the voices in my head saying I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough.... you know the drill. I am sure you have been there too. As I got older, I came to realize, that is the devil in my mind and if I listen closer, I hear a gentle sweet voice saying, You are mine, I love you, it doesn't matter what the world thinks, it matters what I think and I realize while the devil is screaming at me in a mean tone, Jesus is there, talking to me gently, soothing my soul, and I started to let the whisper be more heard than the scream. 

So let's break this down with our HEAR method.

Verse 5

Highlight- Wisdom    Explain- if you want to know more, ask God. He will show you the way. Apply- when I am in doubt about something, I need to ask God to show me what I am supposed to do. Respond- Dear Lord, help me know that I need you to find the right answers and all I have to do is ask and you will show me what I need to know. 

I do know this may take time, God is not in the instant gratification business, sometimes He requires us to wait on Him (oh here is the perseverance thing again!). When I was younger, I used to get really upset because I would ask God for something and nothing would happen, and I would think He wasn't answering or wasn't listening, then I learned that He WAS answering and just saying, "Wait". I have learned over the years that when you ask God for something, He does always answer immediately, but the answer is either yes, no or wait. I used to think wait was the worst answer, but when God says no, it is very apparent and sometimes immediate, and it stings. Then you have to reevaluate why you were asking what you were asking in the first place. The first time I really remember praying hard for something and Him saying no was when the boy I grew up next door to died. He was 30 and it made no sense to me at all whatsoever. We got the call that he had a problem and that he almost died. We were on our way to Springfield to the state fair, and we stopped the car and sat and prayed. Before we stopped praying, we got the call that he was gone. I was heartbroken and couldn't understand why, when I knew so many people were praying for him to be all right, that God just ignored our prayers. And then it dawned on me, he didn't ignore them, he said no. And we have to accept the fact that, we don't always ( or most of the time really) understand His ways, but we know they are right. And, we weren't praying for what was best for Grant, we were praying for what was best for us, we didn't want to live without Grant. But Grant was getting to spend eternity with Jesus, starting that day. That put things into a little bit better perspective, even though it still hurts to this day.

Let's look at Verse 6

Highlight- Believe and not doubt. Explain- pretty straight forward. Apply- I need to really think about what I am asking and if it fits into God's will, or my own?  Respond- Lord, help me when I am being lead to ask you for something, to make sure I am asking within your will, and not just out of selfish desires.

 Do you ever remember as a child asking your parent for something and knowing before you even asked that they were going to say no? Why did you ask? Because deep down, it was something you wanted but there was a little part of you, that maybe even unconsciously knew why it was a bad idea, and why your parents would say no. God is the same way with us. If you are asking God for something that you believe He will say no about, then maybe there is a reason you know His answer before you ask and you should reexamine your ask. If you are asking God for something that you truly believe is in His will, then believe with all your heart that He will say yes, He still may say wait, or no, but if you don't even believe He will do what you are asking, why would you ask? And do you really believe nothing is impossible for Him?  The day that Grant died, I truly believed God would make Him better. A year before my dad died, he had a night where his heart stopped, things were bad and our pastor quickly got a prayer chain going, they had told us my dad was dying but he lived through that night and I always believed and still do believe that God spared him that night because our friends were willing to get up in the middle of the night and pray for him. The day he died, it was so sudden that nobody knew it until he was gone, I always had it in my head, if we would have prayed, he would have lived. That was the thoughts of a 13-year-old. And though I wanted it to be true, I now know, when God says it is time to go, it is time to go and it is always up to Him, not me. My job is always to pray and believe. I have to believe even if God says no that he is working all things for my good and that if I believe He has the power to change my life, and don't doubt, that He will change my life.

now Verses 7-8

Highlight- Double-minded and unstable. Explain- We must set our sights on Jesus' gentle whispers in our ears and not listen to the devil screaming the doubts. Apply- Lord, help me remember I am your child and that when I ask things in Your will, it will be done. Respond- Lord, help me when I have days of unbelief, when the devils temper tantrums inside of me are louder than your sweet whisper that touches deep to my soul. 

Over the years there have been things that I have wanted so badly in my life that I really couldn't believe they could happen. Probably one of the biggest (no pun intended-really) was that even after surgery, I could lose the weight. It was something I wanted, I wanted to be healthy, I wanted to be the 60 year old that climbed mountains and ziplined, but I was so far from it. The doctor told me if I followed his direction, he would guarantee that I could lose 140 lbs. The rest would be up to me. I prayed about this surgery for a long time before I decided to pursue it. I had been going to the gym faithfully since 2017 and I would gain and lose the same 20 lbs. I had my share of diet drugs and knew every time I quit taking them, I would balloon up so fast it would make your head spin, and a few new pounds would come with it. I had done my research and knew this was not a fix, it was a tool and that the book my doctor gave me was a very good outline for what to do to not only lose but to maintain. When I started praying about it, never once did I feel God tell me no. It felt very right and I could hear Him saying, trust Me, trust your doctor and trust yourself to do this. My original goal was to get to 135 lbs or a size 8 whichever came first. I hate clothing sizes, just saying, but I just bought another outfit that I ordered a size Medium, when it came, it fit perfectly but it is the second Medium that has had 6-8 under the medium. Ironically, I have pants that are 10's and 12's too and they fit, and I really would like to see at least another 20-30 lbs off, I think, still working on trying to figure that out. The thing is, if you are really doubting God will do something, again, go back to why do you doubt it, are you being like a wave of the sea, tossed by the wind because God is trying to shake some sense into you? 

Just remember, God will NEVER say yes to something that is outside of His will and He will never say yes to something that would cause you to sin. Don't ask, the answer will be no, If you think He said yes, you weren't listening to Him, you were listening to the devil. 

My son, Robert, has concentrated this year on making sure he reminds himself that it is God's will, not his. I have heard him more in his prayers, ask for God's will to be done, and I admire that greatly and try to pattern myself the same. It is a reminder to us that God will always do what is best for us. We need to believe that and not doubt. The rest will fall into place because of it.

Leaving you with that Casting Crown's song, Voice of Truth.

Hope you have a great Saturday!