Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God [is] one LORD:
5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Father's Day is upon us again, I have some pretty good sized emotions when it comes to Father's Day, and I saw one of my friends who had lost their dad in recent years even state they wish there wasn't a special day set aside because it hurts too much. I have always kind of had a love/ hate relationship with Mother's Day and Father's Day too but part of it is because we are to honor our parents EVERY day, this makes it easy to have an excuse not to do that. I also hear so many people say they will let their dad be King for a day. Well.....Dad should be king of his castle every day.
I got particularly slammed one day on facebook because I made the statement that my husband was the ruler of our house, and he is. He has the final say. I have never felt like he is my drill sergeant or I am his slave though, he was who God created as the perfect person for me and I feel it is why our family works.
Our pastor made the statement last week that he didn't blame women for stepping up and doing what the men were supposed to be doing when the men weren't doing them. When we were a young married couple, I truly didn't pay that much attention to the order of things. And Andrew, being a bit more type B and me being a lot of type A, let me. I know we were in Pontiac when it hit me that I wasn't doing either one of us justice. He needed to be the one to step up and lead our house and I needed to be the one to step back and let him do it.
One reason in particular in our household is I am passionate, and especially when I was younger, would act first and then think about what those actions would do, number 1 problem with me always has been spending money. I would see some overpriced thingamajig and not think twice about buying it, only to not be able to even get 50 cents out of my $40 or $50 not-thinking splurge, when I decided I didn't really like the thing either. Andrew could look at the same thing and say, you really don't want that. (or my favorite in our house, "I can make that, better, and half the price). (and can we say, I LOVE that cell phones have cameras on them! lol)
I didn't exactly ask permission for stuff, but I did start asking his opinion, and I would not let, "I don't care" be the answer. Then came PromiseKeepers, and the men were told to step back into their rolls as leaders of their households, this was a big step for our family too. Before too long, I think he realized his position was that of "final say". I also remember one particular Women of Faith where Anita Renfro spoke, please remember she is a Christian comedian. She said, let him make the decisions, that way you aren't to blame when things go wrong! I loved it and I tell it to him anytime we have decisions to make that has taken a lot of prayer and thought, he knows I'm kidding though and though he does have the final say, it is neat to me that we make decisions like that together.
Of course, since it is Father's Day, we must talk about the fact that that trickles down to the kids too. Robert always knew if he asked something of me and I wasn't 100% sure I knew what Andrew would say, that I would tell him he would have to talk to him. I'm thinking there were just a few times in his life that I did that, but it worked for us.
All of this is great, and I feel like we do have a very close-knit, loving, family unit but there is one thing that is key to this. God. We have to know we have a Father in heaven in order to make this family structure work correctly here on earth. See, if you aren't following what God wants, then you are following what the Devil wants, even if you don't know you are. The Devil wants nothing more than for everyone to care more about themselves than anyone else. You put someone in the leadership position that only wants to worry about themselves and you have just made everyone under them slaves. That's not the way it works, that's not how any of this works!
I know when Andrew is put in a position to have to give me an answer, he prays about it, he wants to make sure he is giving the answer God would want him to give, and sometimes, I know it is hard to tell me he doesn't think we should do something. I used to pout, but I have learned that is me not being a Godly wife, so I accept it and pray that I will get over it or God will show Andrew something different. Normally, I get over it AND then see what a disaster we would have been in if we would have done what I thought. The time that stands out the very most to me was a house we were looking at in Olney. It had so many things wrong with it but I was so set on buying a house, I didn't care. Andrew said no, and a year later, we were living in Newton, in the house I had loved since I was a kid.
I really don't know why people have a problem with this structure. I have the same thing at work. I have a boss who I am not a slave to but who actually wants to make sure I'm doing my best and she keeps me and my mouth out of trouble. That's pretty well Andrew's job and duty to our family.
AND God gives us the same structure, he, of course, is the ultimate father, but he gives us the free will to either let him be or let the devil be. When we ask God to give us the final answer, and then truly listen, we know we are doing what is best for us in the long run.
So, if you still have your Dad, make sure you tell him how much he means to you, but don't just do it today: we are to honor our parents, everyday. I woke up one morning almost 36 years ago to my dad getting me up. My dad was my hero from the time I can remember, we had a really close relationship. My mom used to say she never really had me until my dad died because I was with him constantly. He got me up that morning, and we were joking around, I stood up in my bed, looked him in the eye and said, "I'm up already!" and gave him a big hug. Little did I know that was the last time I would ever hug my dad. The house I grew up in had the same relationship that I explained above. I watched that work there, and should have remembered from the beginning of our marriage, that this is how it needed to be.
Happy Father's Day!
I will leave you with Sanctus Real's Lead Me. There are a lot of good songs out there about men following the Lord, but I think this on is just perfect for today.
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