Our Awesome God

So, since I took my little hiatus, I thought I would share what has happened in my walk with God.

First off, the week I declared vacation, I was upset, and to be very honest, I was upset with God. It had been a very heart wrenching week for many people I know. Thing is, by the end of that weekend, it got so much worse. I found my self trapped in a spot where I didn't want to even speak to God and at the same time, I needed to cling to Him. By the morning of July 4th, our community was mourning the loss of two babies to a couple that everyone just cherishes, and two young men that, it seems everyone who knew them loved. Andrew and I had one of the young men in our youth group. He was always making people laugh, it was his gift, it was so unbelievable that he was gone and just 25.

I made the statement on facebook that it was probably time I stood myself in a corner, because that was probably what God was thinking I needed, a good ole time-out. One of my best friends texted me and told me she was right there with me, as badly as I was glad I wasn't alone, I felt so very bad that she was going through this too.

So, my week went on, I had a crazy week at work, and a trip to Springfield. I knew I had too much going not to get my head straight with God. Each morning, I would tell him, I am trying here, but I just don't get it.

Then, came Thursday night.
 Back in February it was announced that Casting Crowns would be coming to Effingham. I was thrilled, my FAVORITE group! Thursday was finally the night. I have never cried so much at a concert. Three songs in, God showed me that He knows everything. He knew back in February that everything that was happening was going to happen and that I was going to use this concert to truly get back in the right frame of mind. I came home and almost wrote my blog that night and then I thought no, I am going to take the full time off that I said I was--I'm going to wait and see what else God shows me.

It is just unbelievable what happens when you really get in that frame of mind, just waiting on God, I have a habit of thinking too much and trying to second guess Him. When I truly get in this, "I don't know what I am supposed to think, so here I am Lord, waiting for you to show me".

On Sunday, our pastor's message addressed all the things going on in the world, it was a really good message and I usually pick out a couple things that I can take with me long term. Pastor Dave gave us the differences between joy and happiness. It too, was just what I needed. Joy is that long term peace, that no matter what, we are His, and even when things are going on, and we may not be able to be happy, we can have Peace, think tidings of Comfort and Joy. We can find joy in the fact that we are not alone, God never leaves us and this is not our final destination. Funny, so many verses from Philippians have been running through my mind, Dave reminded us that Philippians was written by Paul, while he was in prison. Isn't it odd that one of the most uplifting and encouraging books in the Bible was written from behind prison bars?

This brought what happened on Monday morning even more divine. My devotional was centered around Philippians, 4:10-19, which I have actually used on this very blog before, but it was what I needed.

¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.
¹¹ Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
¹² I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
¹³ I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
¹⁴ Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.
¹⁵ Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only.
¹⁶ For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity.
¹⁷ Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account.
¹⁸ But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God.
¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

These verses could not have been more relevant to the way I had been feeling if God was sitting on my couch that morning, giving me advice after making the statement that I was waiting on Him to show me. He very definitely did.

I know God takes us through stuff, and I know He is always there, and I know I need to learn that no matter what the situation, He knows the ending.

These verses also reminded me that we need to look out for each other, Paul was thanking the Philippians for taking care of him, not that they weren't before, but God had truly given them opportunities with Paul being in prison. And then, look at verse 17, he says, "Not because I desire a gift; but I desire fruit that may abound to your account."  In this time where so many people are "choosing sides", I am choosing God. I am not putting my head in the sand, I know what is going on, but I chose to try to find where I can be helpful, and productive, and show a little bit of Jesus in a world that feels like He is getting more covered over every day.

THIS is what God did for me last week. Sometimes we all get off the path, and need a reminder that He is waiting at the end of my life.

I was sitting in the Casting Crowns concert and heard the beginning of Already There, and I knew immediately, this was where I needed to be. I could really see one of my  pieces fitting into place.

Thank you, Lord, for comfort, and healing, and joy.

And of course, I leave you with Casting Crowns----Already There. Ironically, Mark Hall said it took him forever to write this because he had so many of these questions too, and then, a bit of trivia-- Matthew West helped him write parts of this song. (He didn't share that at the concert, actually found it on YouTube, in a story about the song).