Louder Than the Voices: Regrets

This has probably been on my mind more this summer than any other topic. I absolutely try to live a life without regret and then something slapped me in the face so strongly that I still fight tears every time I think about it.

I didn't take enough pictures of my life, more specifically, I didn't take enough pictures of my friends, and us, living our lives.

When we first moved to Newton, I immediately started going to the PTO and Band-Aides meetings at the elementary school. I met Glenna. She was president that year and was so excited I was there. There were several people at that first meeting as they were planning the spring carnival, I was really impressed that there were so many there. I had always been active in PTO at Olney and we struggled to have bodies, and minds, to get everything done. I thought, wow, this was great. It didn't last. In fact, the next year, we had one meeting that consisted of us being accidently locked out of the building; Steve had been refereeing and was going to be late. Glenna and I sat on one of the benches outside the school until Steve got there, it was a nice night, so we held our meeting right there. three of us.

Fast forward to high school, Robert's freshman year. My childhood church buddy, Amy moved home. Her son, Trygve, and Robert became fast friends. Amy joined our group as a regular band mom too. I had met Vaneta when we first moved to Newton, but she became more active in the Band Boosters that year, Glenna had known Vaneta for quite some time, as they went to church together. For the next four years, you could pretty well count almost any Saturday in September and October, there would be four spots on the bleachers taken up by the four of us, more often than not, in a little square, two in front and two in back. I was the one that had to go see the whole competition, so I very rarely chaperoned, but I saved the seats, so that we could all set together.

I realized a little too late, that we had all of these pictures of the band, from basically the same vantage point, but we had no pictures of us.

After Robert, Trygve, and Logan, Vaneta's son, all graduated, the four of us still managed to get together every few months and go have dinner. Glenna's daughter was older than the boys, but her son was younger, so she was still in the booster years, so she kept us up on what was going on.

We had gotten busy, and hadn't been together for a while, the last time we were all together was Vaneta's wedding. We should have taken a picture. Glenna was the one taking pictures. We were all there, but we just didn't do it.

Everybody thinks I am probably a facebook junkie, and I probably am. I am also on Linked In and I am just as bad about it as I am good with facebook. I go for weeks without checking it, but in May, I happened to have a notice that it was Glenna's work anniversary, so I just sent her a message and told her happy anniversary. She came back with a laugh and said she didn't even realize it was until she saw my text. We both said it had been too long and planned on catching up at Logan's wedding. The day of Logan's wedding, Amy and I were missing Glenna and Vaneta said she was in the hospital that she was having a brain tumor removed the next day and though it was serious, there were no indications that she wouldn't be fine. She died on the 16th of June. To this day it kills me that there is not a single picture of the four of us. Because these three women were such a big part of my life.

I have 4 sets of very close friends, my 3 closest friends from work, my 4 best friends from high school, my LIHEAP sisters, and my band mom friends. Most of the time when the other groups of us get together, it is a big deal, a special occasion, but when us band moms got together, it was just us living our lives.

In the past 30 days, I have gotten to spend time with most of these groups, I did miss Vaneta the day I went with Amy to the EIU band competition ( and didn't take a pictue of the two of us :-( ) but last weekend, I was with the LIHEAP sisters and made it a point. Today, I am seeing 2 of my four best friends and will also make it a point.

I'm not really sure how "devotionally" this is, but I know God put people in our path and we are to treasure our friends. Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loveth at all times. I have had a couple in particular this summer that I have laid things on them that hasn't been easy and they have offered their input, their advice and it has been very thankfully welcomed.

But going forward, in this age where it seems like people get bashed for too many selfies, I'm begging you, take that picture, don't wait until you lose weight, or your hair looks better. Grab your friends and take that picture.

My mom pulled out a picture not long ago of two of her sisters and a friend of mine's mother-in-law. They are all gone now, but we knew they were connected by that picture.

So, instead of my song at the end. I am posting some of my favorite pictures of my friends and me.