Bearing the Bullies

 I truly hope there are people out there who can say they have never in their lives been bullied. I am also truly hoping that if those people are out there it is not because they have always been the bully. When we think of bullying, I am sure many times our thoughts go to those not so great school days when someone made you feel like you didn't belong. I hate the fact that bullying is such a big problem yet today and that it seems like more kids than ever are being affected by it. I feel this is one place where technology has made life worse instead of better. When I was a kid and would have a run-in with one of my bullies, I knew I could come home. Home, where there was love. Home, where the bullies couldn't reach them because nobody could come in my house uninvited. Unfortunately, thanks to social media, pretty much anyone can be in your house nowadays, they are just a click away. And because of that word "frienemy", I am afraid for some, there just is no peace. 

I know one thing that made me look forward to growing up was that I didn't think there would be bullies. Now I have "there are no cats in America, and the streets are lined with cheese"  (thank you American Tale) running through my head, except, "there are no bullies in adult life, and the days are filled with ease". Yeah, I was just as wrong about the bullies as the mice were about America. Sad but true.

I guess I always thought when I grew up I could just pick and choose the people I was around and I wouldn't have to worry about ever being around people who were not nice, or for some reason just didn't like me. Unless you live a very sheltered life and have a job where you don't have to see people, you are going to be around not so nice people. A few, you may even label as bullies. 

I have one person that I have to deal with on a regular basis that fits this description. They are my bully. There are other people I know that can turn me wrong side out, but I usually have ways to get away from them. This one person, not so much. I have dealt with them for going on 20 years now and I would love to tell you after all that time, things have gotten much better. The fact is, things haven't changed. Maybe that isn't quite true, they haven't changed, I have. 

There were several bullies in the Bible, but I think we must realized the person in the Bible that was bullied the most was Jesus. Jesus had too many bullies to count and we can look at Him for our examples of how to react. Every time Jesus worked a miracle, there was someone there to question his motives, or to say He was blaspheming God.

The passage that stands out the most to me about Jesus being bullied was the last time it happened while Jesus was walking the earth. While Jesus was hanging on the cross, the rulers and many of the people around Him was mocking Him, telling Him if he was the Savior, save Himself. And his words? "Father, forgive them". 

I thought about this as I stood in my office one day in the last few weeks. I was getting ready to meet with someone that I honestly believes gets pleasure out of the fact they can bully me; and I have learned the best thing to do before that happens is to spend a few minutes in prayer. I pray that I remain calm, I pray that I behave the way Jesus would, and I pray that I can walk away without stirring the wrath this person seems to have for me. Father, forgive them.    Father forgive me.  Unlike Jesus, who was perfect, I know I also need to be asking for forgiveness for the thoughts I have about this encounter, for the insecurity I have, for the doubt I have. I need to be asking for strength and courage and as I stand there praying, I am trying to figure out how to get my feet to go one in front of the other because I just don't want to do this. Father, forgive me. 

I realized a few nights ago that I am totally not alone in this. One of my dearest and oldest friends shared with me that she actually had a "mean girl" in her life. I have a feeling we all do. God never promised us all unicorns and rainbows, He just promised us that He has our backs and it doesn't matter who likes us, because He loves us. 

As I have gotten older, I have learned to feel more compassion for those who want to be mean to me. I know their lives are very much about themselves and there is something wrong there or they wouldn't feel the need to try to make others miserable. God has given me too many things for me to be sad, or scared. So, I pray. I have actually prayed daily for this one person for years, hoping that they would be happier, and more content. 

Everything always seems to go right back to Matthew 22:47-40 

Jesus replied, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: "Love your neighbors as yourself.' The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."

Yep, Jesus made it simple: Love God, love others. Amen.

The next time you have to face your bully, pray. Pray for them and pray for yourself. Let God wrap his arms around you (okay, I honestly pray that He keeps His hand over my mouth and His arm around my shoulder- so I don't say something that might be unbecoming to Him.)

I am leaving you with Matthew West's Strong Enough. I think this is perfect, when you know you aren't strong enough to face something, let Him be strong enough for both of you..