One Day at a Time

Once again, I really had every intention of not doing a blog this morning, I have a long overdue date with the LIHEAP sisters and am leaving my house at 5:15, yet here I sit.

For me, this has been an eventful week. I can say I have gotten a lot done, but there is still much to do. One of my best friends, Dani, called me Tuesday morning, I love it when she calls. She lives 11 miles from work but it takes her almost (and sometimes over) an hour to get there, yes, Chicago. Once in a while, she calls me while she is on that trek, and it just makes my whole day better. I had to laugh when I told her I may have bit off more than I could chew for right now, and she laughs in mocking disbelieve, "You??? You have NEVER done that before!!!", So those who have only known me close to 20 years, this isn't a new thing. Dani is one of those that knows things may not have always been on the timeline I intended, but that I always accomplish what I set out to do.

Wednesday evening, I got to spend the evening with another one of my best friends, Tammy. Tammy's talks always heal wounds for me, and I come away no less refresh than if I had spent a day at a spa. She came so close to not coming, on Tuesday, I asked if we were still on, she had been sick and said she might have to cancel. A half hour later, she texted back and said she really wanted to go. God told her she needed to go. She may tell you it was for her, I may tell you it was for me. I thank God for that present.

Something really cool happened Monday too, I got to explain, over the phone, to a certain internet provider's tech, not only how to bridge a modem, but how to reset the password inside our Sonicwall). This was huge, it saved me a trip to that office, but it also was something I would not have been able to know at all 6 months ago. And yet again, God put another very good friend in my life who really understood how great this was to me; Mike, who, yes, is my IT guy, but has always taught me (or tries to teach me anyway, lol) everything that is going on about my system. I love that he does this, as normally, IT guys don't want to mess with people who don't already know. Mike has led me to believe I am smart enough that sometimes IT guys wouldn't share with me because they knew I could learn it and that would lose them a service call. The first time he said it, I really thought he was just being a good salesman; but there are some days, I even believe it. It is really neat to me that God put someone in my life that I can say, "You won't believe what I just done!" and not get a blank stare, as the person looking at me tries to look happy but has no idea what I am talking about. I bugged Mike long enough to tell him this just happened, and to hear him laugh and say he knew I could do it. I needed that.

I am also working with him and several others on a forum of tech leaders, which I never used to (and really still don't) consider myself. We all had lunch a couple of weeks ago, and honestly, I was scared TO DEATH to go to this, as I thought I would feel like a kindergartner hanging around with a bunch of high schoolers, but I didn't. God putting yet more support in my way. (but see a couple more paragraph's below).

So, it has been a good week for me. At the same time, there have been lots of craziness, and things that are downers, but I get a constant reminder that we need to take things one day at a time--literally.One of my friends reminds me this almost everyday, either in a text, an email, on the phone, or in person. I wonder if they realize when they are doing this, they are speaking to me for God.

I have always been one of those people who wants to have the whole year planned, let alone the day or the week. Unless you live on a deserted island, this doesn't always work. Your plans are not always someone else's plans, and most importantly, they are not always God's.

I have friends who are really going through much bigger trials than I am, and I don't know how they function, There are times in life, I know exactly how to help a friend, and then times that I feel so very helpless, and I pray, and I know prayer changes things, and I know prayer really is enough because my God is that big, but at the same time, I feel so helpless. So I pray some more.

I want to tell you about a God wink I had the day of the tech leader's forum. I was on my way to the forum, and sitting at a stop sign, there was a long line of traffic coming and something flashed up on my phone. I picked it up and it was a facebook notification. I picked it up and opened facebook. The very first thing on my screen was a post from Vicki Cook. It was simply the verse Isaiah 41:10: Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed, for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee on the right hand of my righteousness. My absolute favorite verse in the Bible. I have recited it over and over again when I am afraid. I was very nervous, and God brought me a gift. Vicki is just now finding out this happened. Sometimes we do things that help other people and never know, there is a chance Vicki doesn't even know why she was particularly let to put that there. I do.

So, all we really have is our one day at a time. I so often think of the poem that dash, where you look back at your life as related to your birth date and death date,  But I think we need to remember our life is really a whole series of dashes, from the time we get up until the time we go to bed, we have that chance, that one day at a time.

I shared four things that friends did for me this week, just by being themselves, by living our lives. I hope and pray some of them, as well as others, have received equal blessings from me being in their lives.

I have had James 4:13-14 running though my mind this morning:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”;  whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 

We DO need to take things one day at a time, pray fervently for those things we want to see changed, and be there for the people God has put in our lives. 

And I know I have used this song before, but it is one of my favorites, and  today, running through my head.

Sidewall Prophets' Live Like That

Happy Saturday! On my way to spend the day with my LIHEAP sisters! More blessings in my life!

What do You Want?

Good morning everyone!

Happy Saturday!

My full intentions this morning was to post a little poem I learned about last week at our conference.

God said, no. So, I am what I feel like is pressed for time, but have to expound on this a little.

So, I am sitting in Houston last week, at the close of one of the best conferences I have been to in a long time, sitting with 4 of the best people I know, and thinking to myself, "Life is Good".

The last speaker of the conference was very motivational, and he shared this with us.

It was spring, but it was summer I wanted,
the warm days, and the great outdoors.
It was summer, but it was fall I wanted,
the colorful leaves, and the cool, dry air.
It was autumn, but it was winter I wanted,
the beautiful snow, and the joy of the holiday season.
I was a child, but it was adulthood I wanted,
the freedom, and the respect.
I was twenty, but it was thirty I wanted,
to be mature, and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged, but it was thirty I wanted,
the youth, and the free spirit.
I was retired, but it was middle-age that I wanted,
the presence of mind, without limitations.
My life was over,
but I never got what I wanted.

I found this very interesting and realized I have been in these times before, and realized right now, I really am not. I started to ask myself what changed. I have realized through a course of events in the last few months, I am what has changed. And I like it. And I believe it is because I have started listening to God's voice louder than other people's. I have things going on in my life right now that I don't understand and for a long time, I have tried to find the answer to the question, "why". I told this to one of my friends one day, and she said, "why does it matter?" And it was a good point.

The week before we left for Houston, I went to buy groceries, I walked out of the house I had wanted since I was in high school,  got into the car I had wanted for several years and took off down the road. I was thinking about the upcoming trip, and wondering what we would learn. I am so excited about the state of our agency right now, and am very honored to be a part of our growth. I love the fact that we make differences not only in individual's lives but the whole community. I have a great family, great friends, and most of all, a Mighty God. It dawned on me that day, I'm living that life I always wanted. I told this to the same friend I mentioned above, and she told me just don't get comfortable, and she is right. I don't ever want to take any of it for granted, it can change in a heartbeat. And if it does, I know God has a plan, but most of all, I know He's got me. And I am going to thank Him daily for what He is giving me right now.

I only have one verse to go along with this.

James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

So, I am a strong believer that if you are not where you want to be, you and God need to start talking. I am not a "health and wealth" Christian, don't get me wrong. Bad things happen to good people, it's life, it is the result of a few thousand years of sin being in our world, but He's got this, and if you want to stop chasing what you want, and start living what you want, my advice is to start with Him.

Hope you all have a great week!

I am leaving you with Good, Good Father by Chris Tomlin. This song has been in my head as I have written this whole post. It is very fitting, and I am very thankful.

Back to the Voices

Once again, getting a bit of a late start to the blog, but so worth it. The cold moved my kid home for the week, so this morning started with having coffee and visiting with him. I know he is so ready to go back "home", but I am so thankful that I got a week of him being "home" with me.


This has been one crazy, emotional week. It is one of those that felt like it took forever to get through and at the same time, there was not enough time in the day to get everything done. A lot of our management team is leaving for a conference in Houston on Monday morning, so I basically wanted to have all of this week's work done, plus next week's before I leave. Yes, I am going to work today. It would be there when I get back, but I am one that feels better knowing it is done. And, of course, there is always my mom's thing of "if the plane goes down", at least I have given the next person a little head start instead of all the things left undone.




Some major things happened this week that really brought out those voices in my head that was the original reason I started the blog. First off, last month, I had a tiny little incident with the Humira that I take for my UC. I have taken these injections for almost 2 years and for the first time, I ended up with a bruise bigger than a softball. I also started showing symptoms of a flare within two days after that shot. It wasn't major, but it did send me to the prednisone. I was running out of prednisone so I had to call my doc. I told him what happened and he sent me for some blood test that had to be sent to Mayo's. Two weeks later, they called and told me to go have the blood tests again. Tuesday, they called and took me from 2 injections a month to 4. This was because the Humira isn't working as well as it used to; which sent me into the "I'm back to being one step closer to a colectomy". That rates right up there with my fear of knives as one of the things that scares me most.




When I started working at the Greenup office, I was one of the younger ones there. I had all of these, "moms" aka mentors, who had worked community action for years and years. most of them had 20+ years in before I even started work. Over the past few years, they have started retiring. The last one of my work mom's (who isn't older than me enough to be my mom, but my sister), announced her retirement this week. As I look at the core of our department heads, I am now going to be "one of the older ones". That feels really weird, and really exposed.




So, between these events, and some other little things that happened this week, by Thursday night, the voices in my head were giving me the old, "you are not good enough", "nobody cares", "nobody has time to worry about your problems" Classic. And I know way too many of you know exactly what I am talking about. I truly believe that the Humira itself does something to my mental state, especially the first 36 hours after I take it. That was bad enough twice a month, now it is going to be every week. I texted a friend who takes Humira too, she also takes Cymbalta. I started researching, and found that is a common theme. 




I also started a new Bible Study this week about Women of the Bible. And got hit with a stunning thought. What do you think was going through Eve's mind as God was looking for Adam and her in the garden of Eden?






Genesis 2:22-3:24New King James Version (NKJV)
²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
²³ And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

²⁵ And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

² And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; ³ but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
⁴ Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. ⁵ For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
⁶ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
⁹ Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
¹⁰ So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
¹¹ And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”
¹² Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
¹³ And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
¹⁴ So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
¹⁵ And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”

¹⁶ To the woman He said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

¹⁷ Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:

“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
¹⁸ Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
¹⁹ In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”

²⁰ And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.

²¹ Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them.
²² Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— ²³ therefore the Lord God sent him out of the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken. ²⁴ So He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life.






Voices in the head---since the beginning of man-- or woman, at least. I know guys get them too, I have been made very aware of that, more so from my son than anyone, but still. I think Eve was feeling very guilty, and afraid, and worried. I looked at this passage again this morning. It took 7 verses in the Bible to get from Eve's creation to her feeling this way. I had also never thought about what it did to her when Cain killed Abel. Truly, nobody had ever heard of such a thing as murder, and here it was, in her own family, and her own sons. Wow.


So, now that we have laid all of this out, just a reminder. God sent Christ to take care of all sin. From Eve's to ours. And He sent a comforter. That's the voice we need to turn the volume up, because I will tell you, it is there. There are days I want to listen to those voices of self-doubt, self-worth, and just plain out self-loathing, but I also know, and hear the voices saying, "that's not true", "you know better", and "you aren't thinking straight". When I chose to listen to those, things get better.


John 14:6 says, "And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you for ever;"


THAT is the voice to listen to. Because God said, You ARE worth it, you are worth the world to me. You are worth dying for. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life, I love you.




I am leaving you this week with God Is, by Holly Starr.




Earlier, I was talking about the voices from Thursday night that nobody cared or had time for my problems. I got a phone call last night from a friend who had very clearly done some research for me, looking for things I could do to help my UC.  My thoughts last week about those people God puts in your life.....yep, that is priceless.






May you have a week of paying more attention to the Comforter, that God sent to us, than the voices of doubt that the devil tries to throw at us.