Fear Thou Not

Isaiah 41:10, my favorite, I mean, VERY favorite, verse. Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee. Yea, I will uphold thee on the right hand of thy righteousness.

I learned that verse when I was 12. The year before everything in my life started getting complicated. The year before my dad had his first heart attack, two years before he died and three years before my mom had a marathon stay in the hospital. Don't think for one minute that God's timing being perfect is wasted on me. I have known for years that He gave me that verse because I was going to need it.

Ironically, for some reason, I look back and realize that even though I think 12 was when life started getting hectic, maybe it has really been all my life and I was oblivious to a point. My mom was sick a lot when I was little. In fact, I know one of the first things I seriously worried about was what would we do if something happened to her. Believe you me, when Mom was in the hospital, my dad, my sister and I were on all out survival mode. She probably wasn't in there that long when I was little, but it felt like an eternity. I loved my dad, but he was definitely not a homemaker.

But somehow, that year I was 12, things changed. Our church was burnt down just a few days before I started the 6th grade. We ended up having church in the basement of our school. One Sunday morning, I went forward and accepted Christ as my Savior in that basement, which now is the town's firehouse. Yes, life in small town America is awesome; just have to say that.

Anyway, we had Vacation Bible School in the school. My mom and Vaneta Carr were our teachers. Back in those days, part of VBS was seeing just how many Bible verses you could memorize. Usually the one who had the most memorized at the end of the week got a special prize. I have to tell you that need to be the best at stuff kicked in from a very young age and I was always a strong contender for the prize, and won it more than once. My mom always made me explain my Bible verses so she would know I wasn't just repeating words, but was really taking it to heart. This verse told me not to be afraid, He will be with me no matter what, do not be dismayed. I always think of dismayed as a combination of sad and worried. But then it comes, not only that God is God, but that He will strengthen me and help me and hold me up with his righteousness. There are many times I need strength and help and to just be held up. God says, "No problem, I am here."

The following fall, my dad had his first heart attack, I repeated that verse over and over as we sat in the ICU waiting room. There were many dark days during that time and at one point in time the doctor sent us home because "the next few days are going to be rough". At 2 in the morning, the phone rang and Dad's heart had stopped. They were working on him and by the time we got there, they had him back. We realized then the doctor knew it was coming and wasn't expecting to bring him back. The next few days being rough was us getting though a funeral.

The next year, we did lose him. We had all held our breath for that year because even though my dad didn't want people to know it; the doctor had told us that he would more than likely have another heart attack and if he did, it would kill him. I think that was when I started learning there was a difference between worry and fear. I think so many times, we worry and what we were worried about never ends up happening anyway, or if it does, it doesn't happen the way we thought it would. Fear is something tangible. You are afraid of spiders, or you are afraid of death, or you are afraid of losing your dad. It isn't something far-fetched, it is something that you have been told there is a real likeliness it will happen.

With all that being said, God tells us He will take care of those fears, and He did. I'm not going to tell you going through losing my dad was easy. It was, and probably still is to this day, one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. I didn't go through it alone though. God was right there, and I felt him. And not only that, but He surrounded me with good friends that although they didn't know what I was going through at the time, they were there and that was what was important to me because I believe the biggest thing about fear is it is worse when you feel all alone.

Looking back though I do know those events did make me stronger, much stronger. And even though we had some scary days, God always provided and I have learned to remember that God never lies, and he always keeps His promises.

So when you are facing uncertain times, ask God to let you feel that help, He is there. I promise, but more importantly, He promises.

I do have to tell you, when that verse shows up in my life now, I start praying. People share things on the internet all the time, and every so often there will be Isaiah 41:10. Twice I have seen it several times within a few days. It makes me wonder if God is telling me to be prepared or to just pray for the one who posted it, which I do.  I lost a good friend a little over a year ago. Would you believe that the very last thing that she posted to facebook ended with Isaiah 41:10. It comforts me to know she felt God with her as well.

I thought Chris Tomlin's Whom Shall I Fear would be perfect, because let's face it, though I didn't say it above, the Devil himself is behind those fears. When we have to overcome fears and step out into the next step of our lives, God is there, and the Devil will always be defeated.